This Isn't You, Baby (War & Peace Book 4) Read online

  Her nose turns pink and her bottom lip wobbles. “We didn’t have sex. Oscar was jealous and he finger fucked me into several orgasms. And just when I thought we were going to finally do it…”

  She sniffles and lets out a huff.

  “What?”

  “He said he’s too busy for a relationship. That if he fucked me that’s all it would be. A fuck.” A tear races down her cheek. “I told him I would take whatever I could get.”

  I cringe at how desperate that must have sounded. “What did he say?”

  “He told me no. When I started to cry, he kissed me. God, he kisses so good. And then he got me off again. Afterward, we fell asleep wrapped up in each other’s arms.”

  Her fingers are trembling as she attempts to open a packet of sugar to add to her coffee. I reach over and take it from her hands. Once I’ve torn the packet open and dumped it into the steaming liquid, I regard her once more.

  “It seems like progress, Vee.”

  She gives me a sour look. “He friend zoned me. Fucked me with his perfect fingers and then friend zoned me.”

  I make a mental note to call Oscar and have a man to man talk with him. Vee’s too sweet for him to string along. If he doesn’t like her, then he needs to move on. Fingering her in her bedroom not once but twice is confusing the poor girl and leading her on.

  “Duvan did just up and leave with Brie. And Esteban is missing. Do you think he actually is busy helping his father?”

  She shrugs and swallows. “Maybe.”

  “Maybe you just need to take a step back. If he’s busy, you’ll never have his full attention,” I tell her gently.

  Her green eyes burn with fury and her nostrils flare. “Our fathers are business partners. He and I could be partners too. I could help him.”

  I’m already shaking my head. “You do not need to be fucking involved in that cartel shit, Vee.”

  Her gaze loses its fiery edge. “I was born into it. I’m already involved. He just needs to wake up and realize how great we could be together.”

  I pull my baseball cap off and run my fingers through my hair before giving her a tired look. “Have you ever thought that maybe you two aren’t good together?”

  She frowns. “Nope.”

  I ignore the roiling of my stomach. The syrupy scent that hangs heavy in the air isn’t helping my hangover at all. “Promise me something,” I say finally and then regard her with a serious stare. “If he doesn’t make a move by the end of the summer, promise me you’ll get out there and date again.”

  Her brows furl together as she ponders my words. Finally, she lets out a huff. “Fine, I promise.”

  I roll my eyes because I don’t believe her one single bit. “You’re not just lying to me, Vee. You’re lying to yourself.”

  Her nose turns pink as she wobbles out her words. “Lying to myself is the only way I’ve managed to keep my heart intact.”

  Two months on Margarita Island

  “Tell me a story, tigress.”

  We’re lying on a blanket under an umbrella being lazy today. After a week of visiting with my mother’s cousin, I’m exhausted. It was nice meeting Louisa, and she was so great to me, but the constant reminiscing only depressed me. I found most stories funny about their childhood. However, every single one of them reminded me of the fact that she’s gone. It doesn’t hurt any less after three years.

  “What kind of story?” I question as I curl against his bare chest. The artwork on his sculpted torso is fascinating. I’ve spent hours just tracing my finger along the different curves of each design. Moments like those, we can go forever without speaking but so much is spoken silently.

  Duvan gets me.

  Deep down, he knows me better than I know myself.

  “One that makes you happy, mi amor,” he murmurs, his fingers brushing over mine on his chest.

  I settle in the crook of his warm arm and let out a sigh. Closing my eyes, I think back to a time I truly was happy and carefree.

  “Daddy,” I say as I dig my small shovel into the sand. “I want a sister. Constance from school has three sisters. I just want one. Nobody wants to play with me.”

  He chuckles and looks off into the distance of the beach. Daddy always looks in the same direction. Like he’s waiting for someone to come see him. “Your momma is busy fixing hurt people all the time at the hospital. She doesn’t have time for another baby.”

  “I’m not a baby,” I pout.

  Daddy pulls the shovel from my hand and helps me square away the sides of the castle we’re making. “You’re my baby. Always will be.”

  “I’m seven, Daddy,” I tell him with a huff. “I want to be your big girl.”

  He brings a sandy finger to my chin and lifts it so we’re staring at one another. My daddy is strong and fearless like the dragon in my storybook. I’m the princess and Mommy is the queen. “You’re my Brie baby. Still a big kid but still my little girl.”

  I crack a smile at him. “I still want a sister.”

  His eyes shine and once again he flits his gaze down the beach. “Maybe one day you’ll have one, kiddo.”

  He says his words with such sureness, I can’t help but believe him. Maybe I will one day.

  “Ally says her daddy isn’t nice,” I tell him, my voice soft—so soft it almost gets lost in the sound of the waves crashing close by. “He must not love her if he isn’t nice.”

  “Is that so?”

  I look up at him and see that his frown matches mine. “Will you always love me?”

  He takes my hand and narrows his eyes at me. “Brie,” he assures me. “I’ll always be your daddy. I’ll always love you no matter what. And if…” He scrubs at his face, rubbing sand across his skin. “If anything should ever happen and I’m taken away from you, don’t forget that. I will always try to be the best man I can for you, baby girl. Don’t let anyone ever tell you I don’t love you. No matter what they say I’ve done or what I’m capable of. My love for you never wanes. I’ll always do what needs to be done to protect you.”

  His words are sad, and they make me sad too. I start to cry. He coos and pulls me into his lap. My daddy hugs me until I stop sobbing about stuff I don’t understand.

  “Love is strange, baby. It comes in all different forms and sizes. Sometimes it makes sense like the love I have for you and your mom. Other times, it’s confusing. Sometimes you have love for a person that doesn’t even know you. One day, you’ll find yourself all twisted up over love. It’ll make your heart hurt and your mind messy. But, sweet girl,” he says in a fierce tone, “don’t ever let it get away. You deserve love. And in this family…” He chuckles and lets out a tired sigh. “In this family, we do some crazy things for love. In this family, we don’t let love go.”

  I’m still lost in lingering thoughts of my dad when Duvan clutches my hand.

  “I’m sorry, mi amor.”

  Shrugging, I swallow back the tears that are threatening to spill. “I just wish he’d have held true to his promise. He let me go, Duvan.”

  He sits us up and takes my cheeks in his hands. The almost black usual irises have turned purple in the sunlight. I could stare into his eyes all day long.

  “Brie…”

  I frown. He hardly calls me by my name. “What?”

  “One day you need to forgive him. He fucked up, tigress. But maybe…” he trails off and brushes a kiss on my lips. “Maybe love started to get confusing. I mean, love is a complicated little fuck. Back when we first met you, I’d have never imagined falling so hard for someone my father wanted me to marry. Yet I did. And did you ever envision yourself with the likes of me?”

  My lips curve into a smile. “No. Not at all.”

  He takes my wrist and kisses my now healed tattoo. Each time he does it, it sends ripples of electricity straight to my heart. “Come on,” he says with a chuckle. “Let’s get showered and dressed. I’ll take you out to dinner. We’ve still yet to fatten your skinny ass up.”

  I laugh for his bene
fit, but my belly does a flop. I am gaining weight even though he doesn’t seem to notice. My stomach is pudgier than normal, and my boobs even seem to have grown. I don’t want to get his hopes up unless I know for sure, but I missed my period. A huge part of me is scared shitless about the possibility I could be pregnant. After the heroine addiction and the hell I endured with Esteban, I slept with Duvan without protection. It had been days since I’d taken my birth control and I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to remember to take it.

  What if I am pregnant?

  The smaller, slightly braver part of me, is secretly excited. And in about fifteen minutes, I’ll have my answer. Earlier today while Duvan napped, I walked down to the drugstore to buy a test. He’d woken up when I came back so I hid the test in my purse until another time.

  Now’s the time.

  We make it inside our beachside house rental and he makes a beeline for the shower, peeling clothes off along the way. I can’t help but grin as his muscled ass tightens with each step away from me. Duvan is nothing but sheer tattooed muscle. I’ve licked every inch of him and my mouth waters for more.

  There’s no way I’m not pregnant.

  I’ve never been so horny in all my life.

  The shower turning on springs me into action. I find the test and slip into the bathroom behind him. He’s already stepped into the shower so I do my business while he rambles on about a seafood restaurant he found online that he wants to try. I mutter the appropriate answers while I undress and wait for the test.

  Three minutes.

  “You getting in or what, tigress?”

  I let out a squeak and set the test down with a clatter. “Yep!”

  He launches into a story about his dad, but I’m too zoned out to listen.

  One word.

  One word.

  One word.

  Pregnant.

  Tears well in my eyes and elation floods through me. I’m not sure what I expected, but overwhelming excitement wasn’t it. We’re pregnant. Holy shit. Vee is going to freak out when she finds out.

  “Duvan…”

  He pops open the shower door and furrows his brows in concern. The god of a man is all perfectly chiseled lines and grooves. A distinct ‘v’ on his lower abdomen paves the way straight down to his thick cock. Even flaccid, the man’s dick is beautiful. When my gaze rises back to his handsome face, he’s smirking at me.

  My God, that smirk.

  It kills me.

  “Someone’s hungry for more than that seafood restaurant I found us,” he says in a smug tone.

  I laugh and join him in the warm spray. He hauls me into his arms kissing me sweetly on the top of the head.

  “Duvan,” I start but then chicken out.

  He grips my chin and tilts my head up to look at him. “Out with it, mi amor.”

  His black hair is slicked back and his eyelashes seem darker and longer now that they’re wet. Water races down his temple. My mouth waters to lick it right from his cheek.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  I’m beaming at him, but his smile falls the moment I say the words. Dark brows furl together in what seems like an angry manner. Panic wells inside of me because this was not the reaction I was expecting.

  “S-say something,” I choke out. He becomes a blur as my emotions get the better of me.

  His hands slide into my partially wet hair. I’m dragged toward him so that his mouth can consume mine. He kisses me hard enough to make my heart nearly stop beating. The kiss is so passionate and filled with love, I feel it with every fiber of my being.

  “Are you happy?”

  His nose nuzzles against mine. “Tigress, I’m fucking thrilled. Thank you for giving me a baby. You two will never want for anything.”

  I’m hoisted into his arms, and he’s sliding me over his erect cock. He pushes me up against the shower wall while he fucks me. All the while whispering promises of a perfect life together.

  “You’re safe now,” he coos into my ear.

  And I am safe.

  I’ll never be able to express the gratitude I have for him saving me from Esteban. The addiction I was forced to endure was something I could have so easily succumbed to. Had it not been for Duvan’s fierce need to protect, I could still be in that dark vortex Esteban sucked me into. That overwhelming urge to keep me safe is what ultimately birthed this love between us. When everyone else abandoned me, was stolen from me, or betrayed me, Duvan was there to defend me. It was his arms that held me together when I felt like I’d break.

  He’s my rock.

  Strong. Powerful. Unwavering.

  “I love you, tigress,” he murmurs as I climax fiercely in his arms. “Don’t you ever forget that.”

  I’m too drunk on him and his words to respond. He spills his seed into me. When it runs back out, he steals my heart forever.

  I love you too, Duvan.

  “You sure you’re ready to tell them?” he questions. “Even him?” The slight twinge of disgust makes me smile. Duvan is jealous of Ren. While Ren and I have remained friends, my heart belongs to my husband.

  “Aside from you, they’re my only family. I want them to know we’re expecting.”

  He nods as he sets up the computer so we can await their call. I greedily take the package of red licorice he had shipped here from his hands. While I smack on the candy, he fiddles with the DVD player. Soon, we’re curled up watching Dirty Dancing. It reminds me of my daddy. Of times we spent together watching this very movie.

  But it also brings back memories of Esteban.

  Of the basement.

  The heated bliss and the strange pleasure he forced on me.

  Each and every time I think of Duvan’s older brother, a sense of hot excitement surges through me. My heart does an actual leap in my chest. That is…

  Until my disgust catches up to me.

  The horror of what I’d become…

  Of what I let him do…of what I begged him to do…

  It all crashes down around me, squashing any sense of peace in my world.

  Instead of explaining to Duvan why I don’t want to watch one of my favorite movies, I let him tug me up beside him on the couch. We cuddle in each other’s arms while we wait. It’s only been a few days since I took the test, but he talks to my belly all the time. My world is completely calm and serene and so damn happy when that man’s lips are pressing kisses to my stomach. When he’s whispering to his baby in my stomach. When he’s loving the both of us so hard it makes my heart ache.

  A sudden chiming alerts us to the fact they’re calling through. We sit up and as soon as I hit the button, three familiar faces grin back at me. Oscar is broodier than usual on the left. Vee sits in the middle. And Ren sits on the right with a slight uneasiness marring his features and his arm casually slung around Vee. I shoot Duvan a quick questioning look, and he shrugs it off.

  “Hey, guys!” I greet with a smile.

  Vee leans forward and touches the screen. “God, I miss you. When are you moving back?” Her pouting is cute. I miss that girl so much.

  “Soon,” I lie. In fact, I’m trying to convince Duvan to purchase the rental we’re staying in. It may only have one bedroom, but surely we could make it work. Babies don’t need their own rooms, do they?

  “Have you seen or heard from our brother?” Duvan asks, straight to the point.

  Oscar groans and pinches the bridge of his nose. He’s clearly stressed having to pick up Duvan’s slack. “Some of the guys say he headed east. Probably just rumors but stay safe anyway, man.”

  Duvan gives me a peck on my cheek and whispers to me. “Nobody will hurt you ever again, mi amor.”

  I believe him.

  His words wash over me like the rain we’ve had all day today.

  Cool and refreshing. Cleansing.

  Vee starts babbling about her new apartment. I don’t miss the haunted look in Ren’s eyes. Oscar looks so tense he may snap. I’ve never seen my easygoing friend seem so frustrated.

&n
bsp; “Anyway,” Vee chirps. “Tell us the big news. What’s going on?”

  Duvan kisses my cheek before splaying his hand on my stomach. “We’re having a baby.”

  Vee screams so loud I start laughing until tears are running down my cheeks. There’s all kinds of commotion happening on the computer screen and with the storm crackling outside, but all I’m focused on is the way Duvan murmurs dirty stuff into my ear.

  “Bye,” I yell at the screen and swat at it.

  Vee’s still screeching, but the tone has changed. In fact, they’re all yelling at us. As if we did something wrong. Duvan’s hand slips up to caress my cheek. Time slows for a long moment.

  His black eyes, shimmering with purple staring deeply into mine.

  A perfect man for me who gave me a perfect gift.

  Chaos from my friends that doesn’t feel right.

  Something is wrong.

  And then I see him.

  The evil glint in his eyes telling me all I need to know.

  My mouth pops open to scream—a scream that matches that of my friends—and Duvan silences it with his kiss.

  And then it’s over.

  So quick, I can’t believe it’s happened.

  Hot liquid gushes down around me, and Duvan lets out a gurgle. His confused stare meeting mine as he clutches at his neck.

  Blood.

  So much blood.

  Oh, God.

  This can’t be happening.

  Wake up, Brie!

  This is a nightmare.

  No! No! No!

  “I’m s-so s-s-sorry,” Duvan stammers out, the crimson flood around his fingers becoming uncontrollable. “I-I l-love you, t-tigress.”

  Tears are streaming down my cheeks and I’m trying to help him hold his neck together.

  And it’s too much.

  Oh my God, it’s too much.

  Blooming and blooming around our fingers like the most hideous scarlet flowers to ever grow. The most hated flowers in the universe.

  “No!” I choke out. “No!”

  His eyes dull and he blinks slowly. He collapses on me and his breathing slows. I can’t move my dying heavy husband. He’s too big!