This Isn't You, Baby (War & Peace Book 4) Read online

  Fuck.

  “I, uh,” I say and yank my hat off. Running my fingers through my thick hair before shoving my cap back on, I then flit my gaze to Brie and give her a weary smile. “I need to check on Calder and make sure he hasn’t lost the kid or some shit. Vee, I’ll be in my truck on the phone. Brie,” I murmur, “it was good seeing you. I’ll speak to you soon.”

  Vee reaches for me, but I’m already off her bed and stalking toward her bedroom door. I hear Brie asking about me, but I don’t have time to listen. When I sling the door open, I nearly run right over Heath.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” he hisses. But even though he hates me, his attention is in Vee’s room.

  “She’s happy. Leave her the hell alone,” I growl as I shove past him.

  He mutters something to me, but I stalk far away from him. And far away from Duvan’s possessive hold over the girl I thought I belonged with.

  This shit is fucking ridiculous.

  I’m sitting in my truck, blaring Nine Inch Nails, when Vee slips out through the front door ten minutes later. Since she doesn’t have Oscar to impress, she isn’t dressed like a ho. Today she’s wearing a simple lime green dress that fits her slim figure and a pair of matching flip-flops. Her dark red hair has been braided into some fancy design down the front of her shoulder. Toto would call it an Elsa braid if she were here. Vee’s definitely a knockout. It makes me wonder why Oscar just strings her along. And she strings Calder along. It’s all so fucking pathetic.

  “Loud much?” she grumbles when she climbs in.

  I roll my eyes when she pushes the button to silence my vehicle. “We going to eat first?”

  She arches a sculpted eyebrow up at me. “You’re being a grouch,” she pouts but then her gaze softens. “Look, it sucks loving someone who doesn’t love you back. Trust me, I know. But you have to move on. I’ve known Brie for three years. The only time she’s ever looked that happy was on the few occasions with you. They’re married now. Just let them be.”

  “I’m not doing a damn thing, Vee,” I snap as I put my truck into reverse. “It’s too late for me. She’s moved on.”

  She’s quiet at that. I flip the radio back on in an attempt to drown out the awkward silence. “Aren’t you happy for her?” she asks finally after we’ve been driving for several moments.

  I cast a weary gaze her way. “I’m so fucking happy.”

  She frowns and starts to pick at her nude-colored nail polish. “Why is it that people like us never get what we want?”

  I chuckle, but it’s humorless. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I’ll ever get what I want…” My jaw clenches as I replay how he touched her over and over again in my mind. Sure, Brie and I have forged forward some semblance of a friendship, but it will never be enough for me.

  “You’re a guy…” she says softly. “Why doesn’t Oscar see me? Like how you and Duvan see Brie?”

  I glance over at her. Her full pouty lip trembles. I can’t see her eyes now that she’s donned a pair of sunglasses, but she’s visibly upset. From my vantage point, she’s actually a sexy woman. All long legs, narrow hips, and big-for-her-size tits. She practically throws herself at Oscar, and he teases her with subtle touches or glances. But not once has he gazed hungrily at her. Not once have I see that look in his eyes. A look that shows a craving for her. Calder’s eyes, on the other hand, never leave Vee. Ever.

  “He sees you. Just doesn’t appreciate how hot you are,” I tease with a half-grin, hoping to lighten the mood in the vehicle. We’re both fucking depressed as hell.

  “I’m not hot,” she says in a way that tells me she wants me to argue.

  So I do to indulge my friend. “Keep telling yourself that, mermaid girl.”

  A smile tugs at her lips. “Calder calls me Ariel too.”

  “Calder says a lot of nice things about you,” I confide. “Unfortunately he sees you like you see Oscar. It’s unrequited.”

  Her plump lips form a tiny ‘O’ and she jerks her gaze out the window. She fiddles with the hem of her dress while her mind works with unsaid thoughts. Finally, she speaks again. “It would be easier if I could just let Oscar go and date Calder.”

  I shrug as I pull into the apartment complex we’re supposed to be visiting. When I park the car, I turn to look at her. “Don’t toy with my brother, Vee.”

  She gapes at me, a slight flare of anger flickering in her green eyes. “I only said it would be easier. I didn’t say I was going to. Sheesh, I’m not a bitch, Ren.” With a huff, she climbs out of the truck and stalks toward the management building.

  I grumble and climb out after her. Once I reach her, I grab her by her elbow. “Just stop. I’m sorry, okay? I’m just being a dick because the girl I love is fucking married, has her husband’s name tattooed on her wrist, and is on a dream honeymoon on some Caribbean Island.”

  Vee’s hardened gaze falls. “I’m sorry too.”

  Pulling her to me, I hug my friend. She rests her cheek on my chest, her arms wrapped tightly around me.

  “Maybe,” she says, lifting her head to look up at me. Her jade-colored orbs almost glow with mischief. “Maybe, we should hook up. We’re both desperate for people we can’t have.”

  The very thought of betraying my brother has me sick to my stomach. “Ha…ha. Calder would string me up by my nuts.” I tap her on her forehead. “Get that dumb thought out of your head right now.”

  She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Fine. But you know you’d have a good time with this body. Am I right?”

  This girl is trouble. “Don’t start, mermaid girl. Wrong brother. If you’re going to try and get over Oscar, don’t use me for it. I’m sure Calder would love to have a good time with ‘this body.’” I mock her with her own words.

  Her eyes lose their luster. “This would be a whole lot easier if Oscar would just see me, dammit.”

  I take her face in my hands so I can look into her glistening eyes. “Be yourself, Vee. Every time you’re around Oscar, you dress like a skank.”

  She growls and tries to move from my grip, but I hold her still.

  “You’re too willing. Too available for him. Make him work for it. If he thinks he can’t have you, he’ll want you. I saw several times when you were chatting with Calder the way Oscar would look pissed about it. He may not want you, but he doesn’t want anyone else to have you either. Us guys, sometimes we need big hints,” I tell her and press a kiss to her forehead before releasing her.

  She steps away and folds her arms over her ample chest while she thoughtfully chews at her bottom lip. “He looked jealous, you think?” The hope in her eyes saddens me. Oscar is a dick. He’s got this hot chick practically humping his leg and he blows her off until my brother is in the room. Then, and only then, does he show any interest besides platonic friendship.

  “You’ve been around him since you were a baby. To him, he sees you as something stable. That when he finally finishes being a manwhore, you’ll still be there for him if he ever decides to settle. Are you willing to wait until then?” I ask, rubbing the back of my neck where tension from the past few weeks seems to have permanently settled.

  “I want him to shit or get off the pot,” she huffs.

  A couple of guys exit the management building and leer at Vee. The bigger guy murmurs something to another one before he whistles appreciatively.

  “Fuck off,” I holler and reach for her wrist. “Come on. You’re not staying here.”

  “But we haven’t even looked at the apartment yet!”

  Ignoring her arguing, I drag her back to the truck and push her inside. Once I’m in and the air conditioning is blasting us, I regard my pouting friend with a frown. “You’ll get your ass taken advantage of around here.”

  “Maybe that would make Oscar jealous,” she snaps.

  I reach out and pat her hand that rests on her thigh. “Don’t do anything stupid, woman.”

  She groans. “It’s a good idea in theory.”

  “Except then you’
ll have some dumbass guy wanting to get in your pants while you try and bait Oscar. He’s not just going to go away after. You’ll have more problems than you bargained for.”

  “Like Calder…” she trails off.

  I nod, feeling bad for my brother. “You just need to make Oscar see what he’s missing.”

  “Will you help me?”

  Seems like a fucking joyous task but it’s not like I have anything better to do. “I’ll do my best.”

  She squeezes my hand and widens her expressive green eyes at me. “Thank you, Ren. You’re a good friend.”

  “I’m not making any promises,” I tell her.

  Her smile is bright. “That’s okay. All we can do is try, boy.”

  Boy, my ass.

  I could bench press her scrawny butt.

  “Can you do something for me too? Can you get Brie to move back here? I know she’ll be with that fucker but at least I’ll know she’s safe. Can you do that?”

  “I’ll try,” she says.

  “Then I’ll try too.”

  She holds her hand out to mine and I give it a shake.

  I sure hope Vee has the ability to get her friend to come back.

  I fucking miss her.

  It’s been several weeks since Vee and I went apartment hunting. Unfortunately for her, Oscar has been flying back and forth with his father. He’d given his dad the scoop on what had gone on with Esteban, and they were trying to find him. It was my hope they’d find him and we could all take turns beating that motherfucker’s ass but in actuality Camilo needs him to make sure shit is running smoothly in their country. Oscar has taken over much of the crap Duvan did before he bailed with my girl so we hardly see him anymore.

  I’ve seen Vee plenty of times while we chatted with Brie via Skype but we’ve not hung out much more than that. But tonight Oscar’s in town, and she’s dying to make her move. I’m less than thrilled because she expects my help. However, Vee’s been making good on her end of the deal. Each time we Skype, she’s mentioned to Brie that they could move back. Small and subtle. Talks about college and stuff they’d always planned to do together. Brie’s eyes seem to dance with what-ifs. I hope to hell Vee can convince her.

  “Grab me another beer,” I holler at Vee.

  She’s moved in to her new apartment now, one close to the school but with less leering neighbors. I don’t feel like she’ll get abducted on the way to her car at least. One less thing I have to fucking worry about.

  “Do you think this is better?” she asks as she rounds the corner carrying two Coronas.

  My gaze flits over her her tiny black shorts and green Aztec print halter top that reveals far too much cleavage. It’s better than the spandex tight red dress she had on earlier, though. We’re not going clubbing. We’ve planned to watch a movie for crying out loud. But still…it screams look at me.

  “Your tits are barely contained. It’s not a whole lot better than the dress. Don’t you have a T-shirt or something you could wear?” I ask with a groan.

  She curls up her lip in disgust as if I’ve just asked her to show me her old man porn collection or some shit. “I still want him to remember I’m a woman, dumbass. A T-shirt is not going to remind him I have tits.”

  I roll my eyes as she hands me a beer and plops down beside me. “When’s he supposed to get here?”

  Her lips wrap around the end of the bottle and she sips. If she does subtle crap like that, she’ll have no problem getting Oscar to notice her. I don’t think any guy is blind to a woman wrapping her plump lips around a bottle. Every guy’s thoughts immediately go…there.

  She’s about to answer when the door swings open. Oscar strolls in with his keys in one hand and a six-pack of beer in the other. Despite the unusual circumstances in which I’ve come to know the guy, I actually really like him. Unlike his brother Duvan, he’s cool and funny as hell. And he’s a pretty good surfer. I wish he’d snap the fuck out of it though and claim this girl before the wrong asshole does.

  Conversation, like usual, is easy for the three of us. Oscar regales us with tales of the asshole men who work for his father and how he riled them up at every chance he got while visiting. Vee updates him on Brie and Duvan. I remind them about the concert tickets in September I purchased tickets for the three of us to go to. After we finished off the beer and our second movie, we moved on to some strong-ass cocktails which Vee made. We’re all relaxed to the point that I don’t mind her head in my lap while she blabs on about the classes she’s enrolled for. The tension in my neck has loosened somewhat.

  Oscar’s gaze seems to roam her bare legs on his own accord. I don’t even think he’s noticed yet that I’m stroking her hair. Through half-lidded tipsy eyes, she gives me an appreciative smile. I wink at her and enjoy relaxing with my friends.

  At home, I can’t fucking relax. I’m eager for class to start back up so I can get back to the dorms. Mom and Dad have their hands full with a toddler and a newborn. We’ve yet to hear from Gabe as far as I know, which only serves to piss me off. Home is most definitely not relaxing.

  “Have your legs always been this smooth?” Oscar questions, his brow lifting with one corner of his lips.

  Vee laughs and kicks at him where he sits on the other end of the couch we’re sharing. He’s seemed to loosen up. I don’t miss the hunger in his eyes that he’s trying to mask. “You’re drunk, Ozzy.”

  He smirks. “You’re the one who can’t handle her liquor. Why the hell did you make this shit so strong anyway?” His fingers tickle her thigh and she squeals. “Make me another drink, bartender.”

  She sticks her tongue out at him, but I can see happiness glittering in her green orbs. The fucker is finally paying her some attention. But by the time she returns with another round of drinks, Oscar is frowning as he texts. He doesn’t even utter a thank you when she hands him his drink.

  Her sad gaze finds mine and my heart aches for her. “Come here.”

  She sets the drinks down and sits down beside me. I can tell she’s seconds away from crying. The liquor is depressing her and it’s making a quick job of it.

  “What’s wrong?” She and I both know what’s wrong.

  “Nothing,” she says in a wobbly voice.

  Her tears begin to fall, thanks to the alcohol, and I hug her to me.

  “Shh,” I murmur, stroking the side of her arm. “Don’t cry.”

  I’m attempting to comfort her when a glass slams against the coffee table, startling us.

  “What the fuck did I miss?!” Oscar bellows as he rises to his feet.

  “Maybe pay some attention and you’d know,” I growl out.

  Without warning, she’s physically pulled from my hug by Oscar. His scowl is murderous when it meets mine as if I were the one who made her cry. Then, he drags her squirmy ass into her bedroom. The door slams shut, and I’m left wondering what the hell just happened.

  God, I wish he’d just fucking wake up.

  My thoughts drift to Brie. Sexy, stunning Brie. Such a sad girl with a brilliant smile. I’d do anything to see her smile right now. To have her in my arms. Jesus Christ, I miss her.

  Simply thinking of her has my dick aroused and eager to come. The last time I came—not by my own hand—was at the hotel before Brie walked out on me. And before that was when I’d taken her virginity. I close my eyes to remember how perfect that night had been. How beautiful and ethereal she’d been under the moonlight. The way her body squeezed my dick so hard, I thought I’d pass out from pleasure.

  She moans and—

  I pop my eyes open with realization that it’s Vee’s moans I’m hearing. Good for her. She finally got him to fuck her, it would seem. As proud as I am for her, I’m still hard as hell and have Brie on my mind. Shamelessly, I unfasten my shorts and pull my proud cock from my boxers. With my eyes closed, I let Brie take center stage in my fantasy while Vee’s moans in the background give it the realistic edge my normal whack off sessions don’t have. I fist my length with a death grip and run m
y thumb over the topside of my shaft. When it slides over the tip, I hiss out. My dick jolts in my hand.

  “Brie,” I murmur, my voice but a whisper.

  Her brown eyes—eyes I miss seeing in the flesh—are focused on me as I stroke myself. I can almost imagine it’s her. Her mouth. Her lips. Her wet tongue. All tasting me and bringing me closer to climax. With every thrust into my fist, I get closer to blowing my wad down her imaginary throat.

  “Fuck,” I hiss out as my balls draw up in pleasure.

  Heat spurts up the front of my shirt as my release escapes me. My mind lingers on Brie and I drag out the fantasy as long as possible. When I’ve finished and tucked my cock back into my pants, I open my eyes and acknowledge that I’ll never have her again.

  That one day soon I’m going to have to move the fuck on.

  Easier said than done.

  I rip my soiled shirt from me and toss it away. The moans from the other room have stopped. It almost sounds like she’s crying again. If I didn’t think I’d get my ass kicked, I would go in there and check on her. Oscar shouts something muffled. It has me rising to my feet in alarm. But then she’s back to moaning. With a huff of frustration, I plop back on the sofa and start to pass out.

  Where do I even go from here?

  Rolling to my side, I push thoughts of my bleak future away and gladly welcome ones of when Brie was beneath me in the sand. She’ll always be nothing but a memory to me. For at least one night under the stars and another against the hotel door, she was mine. It may have been fleeting but they were our moments.

  I may not ever have her again.

  But that memory I’ll hold on to until the day I die.

  “Are we going to talk about what happened last night?” I question as I pour syrup all over my pancakes.

  Vee winces, as if my words physically pain her, and stabs at her eggs. “Which part?”

  “You and Oscar. Did he finally wake the hell up?”

  She chews on her eggs and regards me with sad eyes. “Yeah.”

  I lift an eyebrow at her. Even though she got what she wanted, she seems unhappy. “Why were you crying last night? I thought you got laid. Isn’t that what you wanted?”