Hood River Zero (Hood River Hoodlums Book 4) Read online

  So pretty.

  Always so damn pretty.

  “You okay?” I whisper.

  “I am now.”

  Her words fill me with fierce, male pride. My girl—even if she hasn’t admitted it to herself yet—feels content with me. It’s more than general happiness, though. It’s like she’s relaxing in my presence.

  “What are you reading?” I ask, letting my eyes fall closed. I settle an arm over her stomach, fully expecting to be pushed away. Surprisingly, she allows the touch.

  “Researching.”

  “Sex with your hot coach?”

  She snorts. “Gross.”

  I don’t take offense. Not this time. She’s letting me comfort her and isn’t pushing me away. Her words sometimes feel like whips, but I’m learning it’s a defense mechanism. She’s soft inside, you just have to take a verbal beating in order to get to know that part of her. I can handle a little mental whoop ass.

  “Not you,” she clarifies when I don’t respond. “I’m being a bitch again.”

  “Nah, Penny, you’re just being you. Don’t apologize for it.”

  Her hand rests over my arm that’s cuddling her. Such a small move, but it means so much.

  “I’m trying to help you find Lacey,” she says. “We have to find her. What if she’s…hurt.”

  Images of Lacey hurt assault my mind. I don’t like them.

  “We’ll find her,” I murmur. “I’m pissed at her, but we’ll clear the air and fix everything.”

  “You’ll be her hero,” she whispers.

  Her hero.

  Not Penny’s.

  “I’d rather be yours.” I brush my thumb over Penny’s stomach, just under her breast.

  “You two have history. She’s Zella’s mother. What if…” She lets out a heavy sigh. If I’m not mistaken, she sounds upset. Jealous even.

  “I don’t want to be with Lacey,” I assure Penny. “There’s only one girl I want in my bed and I have her in it.”

  She sets the phone down and then cradles my head in her palm. It’s the strangest yet most affectionate thing anyone has ever done to me.

  My headache starts to fade and I fall blissfully asleep with the most unusually perfect girl I’ve ever known. I have to figure out a way to keep her here and never let her go.

  Penny

  I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.

  I’m suffocating.

  Ryan is on top of Charlotte, choking her, but I’m the one who can’t suck in air. I’m frozen, unable to move. I manage to gasp in a huge breath but am still stuck. Crying and now screaming, unable to make it to her. I go to raise my gun—Aunt Karen’s gun—but it’s no longer in my hand.

  “Looking for this?” Ryan taunts as he now holds the gun to my sister’s head.

  “No!” I cry out.

  Bang!

  “Penny, baby, wake up,” Terrence murmurs, dragging me from my nightmare. “I’m right here. You’re safe. Breathe.”

  It’s pitch-black in the room and my heart is racing inside my chest.

  I fucking hate Ryan nightmares. He didn’t even touch me and yet he haunts me. I can only imagine what Charlotte endures because of him. Tears burn at my eyes, but I blink them back, swallowing down the sob that threatens to escape.

  A shudder trembles through me, shaking the bed. Now that I’m awake, my thoughts drift back to earlier this evening. I’d babysat Zella for a couple of hours. There was nothing of use in his house. I was sneaky, but managed to hunt in a few spots while Zella and I played Hide N Seek. I’d been inside Jack’s office, looking in the closet when I’d heard the door slam shut. Scared the shit out of me at almost having been caught. He immediately sent Zella to bed and then asked me to stay for a drink again. This time, I was smart and sat in the recliner, but his creeper vibes continued.

  “Relax,” Terrence rumbles, hauling me to him and kissing my head. “Go back to sleep.”

  This should weird me out, sleeping in his bed. Cuddling. It’s so out of character for me. I keep waiting to freak the hell out, but there’s something about him that calms me. I slide my leg between his, nudging his cock that feels huge, not even erect, wondering if we’ll ever get to that point.

  Sex.

  It has always seemed so foreign to me. Like something I knew I’d never be capable of having. I never understood the desire of it to be honest.

  Until now.

  My core throbs. I have an insane urge to rub against his cock with my knee, deliberately making him hard. But then I’d have to do something with it. I know for a fact I’m not ready for whatever that might entail. I settle for creeping my palm over his chest and nuzzling my face against his neck. He smells like soap and safety. I love it.

  “Your thoughts are loud,” he says. “Go to sleep.”

  I nod, clutching onto him tighter. I take pleasure in the fact I’m not panicking at being held by him. It feels right. I hope when I’m not terrified from a nightmare, I can try this again. I want to explore these new feelings with Terrence.

  I like him.

  I want him.

  I just don’t know how to get him.

  He’s eager and ready, seemingly desperate to be a part of my world. I wish I could give it to him. I know, though, it’s not that easy. Because of me. My mind is a fucking mess. After a long, frustrated sigh, I relax and allow myself this moment. Even if it’s only one night.

  Smash: I’ve given you space. Come over tonight or let me come to you. Fuck, Penny, I just need to see you and talk to you.

  I stare at Terrence’s text.

  God, I am such a bitch.

  I’ve avoided him all week since our night we spent together.

  While that night was one of the best I’ve ever had, the next morning was not. I woke up in a panic, bolting before he could even utter a good morning. I’ve been cold and distant ever since.

  And I hate myself for it.

  I’m not enough for someone like Terrence and I know it. Not when he could have someone like Lacey. From what I’ve dragged out of Zella, her mom is the sweetest person in the whole world. A princess, she claimed. She said she’s not allowed to talk about her mother because her daddy gets mad. Lacey is probably sweet and affectionate, just what Terrence needs.

  I need to find her because they both need her. Terrence and Zella.

  My heart aches just thinking about their reunion.

  Finding my nerve, I reply back to Terrence.

  Me: I’m out. Will be until late.

  Smash: Tomorrow night then?

  Me: Party, remember?

  Smash: Fuck the party, Penny. Jesus. Stop pushing me away.

  Guilt swells up inside of me, making me nearly choke on it. I swallow it down, biting back tears that prickle in my eyes.

  “Penny, why aren’t you playing with me?” Zella asks, brushing through her Barbie’s hair.

  I force a smile. “Sorry. I had to text someone.”

  We continue to play as I mull over Terrence’s words. I already promised Tierra I’d go to the party, despite not wanting to with every fiber of my being. I want to see Terrence. It’s been punishment seeing him at practice and not speaking to him all week.

  A car door slams, making me jolt. It’s almost midnight and Zella’s still up. Crap.

  “Hurry,” I rush out. “Get to bed so you don’t get into trouble.”

  She abandons her dolls, running to her room. Quickly, I rise to my feet, shoving my phone into my pocket. The door flings open and I face off with the creep. As soon as I smell the booze on him, I cringe.

  Earlier, when he’d left to go out, he’d been all smiles and friendly.

  Now, he breathes heavily and his body thrums with violent energy. I stumble over the Barbie dolls in the middle of the floor, nearly falling on my ass in the process. Thankfully, I right myself before I hit the floor.

  “Zella!” he yells. “What the fuck have I told you about leaving your goddamn toys out?”

  I shake my head at him. �
��It’s my fault. I told her to go to bed and that I’d pick them up.”

  He kicks the dolls, scattering them everywhere. I’m frozen in place as he stalks my way. I let out a shriek when he grabs the front of my hoodie and walks me back to the wall. Once I’m pinned, he narrows his stare on me.

  As much as I want to close my eyes, I refuse to back down. I lift my chin and shoot him back a fiery glare.

  “So you’re the little girl who needs punishing tonight. That what you’re saying, sweetheart?”

  “It was a mistake,” I say in a cold voice. “Won’t happen again.”

  “You have a lot of fire in your eyes for someone who claims to be a good girl. What exactly do you get up to with my fucking daughter while I’m gone?”

  Not his daughter.

  Not his daughter.

  I hate this asshole.

  “I need the money,” I lie. “It’s good, easy money. We play and then I do my homework. I don’t get up to anything while you’re gone.”

  “Lacey lied a lot,” he growls. “She got punished a lot too.”

  “Where is she?” I demand, needing answers already.

  “I told you. Florida.” He curls his lip up. “With her mother.”

  “Zella needs her mother,” I tell him. “You should let her see her.”

  He releases my hoodie but remains close, glowering at me. “Zella put you up to this?”

  Hell no.

  He is not about to punish that girl for this.

  “No,” I snap. “She hardly ever says anything, which is why I came to my own conclusion she’s missing her mother.”

  He turns his head, staring down the hallway like he’s considering going after her with his belt. I try and distract him with words.

  “I need to get paid so I can leave. Dad will be worried.”

  His gaze is back on mine. “The money isn’t that good, Penelope. Why do you stay here to watch Zella? Most of the sitters can only handle one or two visits. It’s almost as though you want to be here.” He touches my cheek, making me flinch. “What is it, sweetheart? You have a crush on an older man? It’s naughty to use a child to seek the affections of her father.”

  Is this fucker serious right now?

  “Ew,” I grind out. “I need money, not a sugar daddy.”

  He barks out a laugh. “Maybe you could have both.”

  “Gross.”

  “There,” he says. “Finally, the truth comes out. You’re not in it hoping you get some dick, so there are other reasons.”

  “Money,” I spit out. “I just want the money.”

  He studies me for a long time before he fishes out his wallet. Pulling out some twenties, he folds them and then leans forward, sliding them into the back pocket of my jeans. My blood runs cold at his touch. When he grabs my ass, I yelp.

  “If you ever want more money, just ask. I haven’t been laid in fucking forever. I’d hand over my entire goddamn paycheck to get you in my bed, sweetheart. Just how bad do you want money?”

  I’d rather throw myself in front of a moving train than willingly ever climb into bed with such a creep.

  “I’m seventeen,” I spit out at him. “You’re like forty-five.”

  “Beggars can’t be choosers,” he says with a dark laugh. “Like I said, it’s been ages since I got my dick wet. And trust me, a teenage pussy isn’t the worst place for that to happen. Just let me know how much and I’ll make it happen.”

  “I’ll think about it,” I lie, sidestepping his drunk ass and snagging up my bag. “I might be willing to negotiate.”

  He boldly rubs his dick over his jeans. “Is that so?”

  “Let Zella call her mom and talk to her.”

  “Go home, Penelope. I’m fucking tired.”

  Not needing to be told twice, I bolt. He’s drunk as hell and probably won’t remember this conversation. I, however, can’t erase the sick feeling roiling through me.

  I’m in a daze the whole way home, through my shower, and as I crawl into my bed.

  I need…

  I need…

  My hand shakes as I pick up my phone and text Terrence.

  Me: Start talking, Smash.

  Smash: Is this you letting me in?

  Me: Not sure why you’d want inside, but yes. It’s terrible and dark and lonely. I can barely stand to be here myself.

  Smash: Which is exactly why you need to let me in. Talk to me, Penny.

  Me: I’m scared.

  Smash: Of what…those guys bothering you again?

  If only it were that simple.

  Me: Bigger stuff.

  Smash: Did someone hurt you?

  Yes.

  No.

  Me: More like scared me.

  Smash: Who do I need to kill?

  Jack Henderson. I choke on a sob.

  Me: It doesn’t matter.

  Smash: It does to me.

  Me: You like me, Terrence, but you don’t know me. If you did, you wouldn’t like me.

  Smash: Try me. Let me know you.

  Me: I hate sounds. Especially repetitive ones. Some days, I nearly lose my mind from it.

  Smash: I’m still here.

  Me: I can’t stand the idea of people touching me.

  Smash: I came to both these conclusions on my own, you know. This isn’t a new revelation to me. I’m still here.

  He is.

  He shouldn’t be, but he is.

  I’m selfish in this moment because I’d rather deny sweet little Zella the opportunity to have a loving mother and father—a complete family—because I want her dad all to myself.

  Me: I’m difficult to love.

  Smash: You can repeat the lies you tell yourself all you want, Penny, but I sure as fuck can’t hear them.

  Me: Stop talking.

  Smash: Only because you asked sweetly.

  Me: Good night, Smash.

  Smash: Night, Zero. We’ll continue our talk soon.

  Terrence

  Dread.

  It consumes me as I stare through the glass of Cal’s windshield.

  Grandma’s house.

  Sure, there are lots of good memories here and Grandma has taken care of me like she were my own mother, but there’s a sense of dread that has hung over me like a cloud ever since I woke up from my coma.

  The moment I go inside and clean out my shit, I’m officially turning a new chapter in my life. I’m manning up. Letting go of my youth. Starting adulthood…finally.

  With a heavy sigh, I exit Cal’s truck I borrowed and trot up to the front door. Before I let myself in, someone pulls in the driveway beside the truck. I look over my shoulder, pleased but surprised to see an orange Jeep.

  Penny shuts off the Jeep and climbs out, pulling a bag over her shoulders. “Hey, Smash.”

  “Hey, beautiful.”

  She walks right up to me, her head tilting up so she can look at me. “Gross.”

  A laugh tumbles out of me. “I tell you you’re beautiful and you tell me gross. Learn to take a compliment, mean-ass.”

  Her lips quirk on one side. “I meant you, standing there with your cheesy grin and trying to woo me is gross.”

  “Then why’re you smiling if it’s so gross?” I tuck an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “I think you secretly like it.”

  “You’ll never know.” Her blue eyes twinkle.

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” I murmur, dipping my lips to her forehead and pressing a kiss there. “I can read your eyes now. I don’t need your lips to smile for me. Your eyes are the glimpse inside.”

  I pull away and she’s frowning again.

  “I want to kiss you,” I admit, searching her eyes that communicate so much. “Last time, I scared you off, though.” I rub my thumb along her lip, wishing like hell she would let me do it again.

  Her brows furrow harder. “Stop talking, Smash. You know my answer.”

  With those words, she stands on her toes, parting her lips for me. I don’t have to be told twice. Gently, I press my lips to
hers, needing to taste her more than I need air right now. I groan when her tongue lashes against mine, greedy and ravenous. She gets spooked so easily, so holding her is probably a bad idea, but I need her in my arms. I slide my hand to her back, pulling her against me. A tiny mewl escapes her, sending currents of desire straight to my dick.

  She tastes like mint and madness.

  A delicious, fresh tease into the unknown.

  That’s what it is with her. The unknown. Each second I spend with her is in some subspace I don’t recognize. I understand women, but not Penny. Penny is a mystery that I feel is my duty to unravel.

  I will unravel her.

  Thread by thread until I reach the very marrow of who she is.

  I want her to be mine.

  Scary as fuck since I’m not the guy who settles down whatsoever for a chick. Penny’s not some normal chick. She’s everything all the rest weren’t and more. I feel slighted that I’ve been wasting time with women who were only one sliver of what Penny is.

  The accident changed me.

  For the better.

  Opened my fucking eyes.

  Perfection has been staring me in the face for years. Probably not appropriate until now—hell, not until April if we’re being precise—but still there. Fate’s got fuckin’ jokes. Teasing you with a future, dangling it right in front of you, but letting you be blind to it until it’s the right time.

  “When you’re done trying to get my best friend pregnant, come inside and see what Grandma’s done to your room.” Tierra laughs from behind me. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say she’s been waiting your whole life to get rid of you.”

  I hold my middle finger above my head, reluctantly pulling away from my kiss with Penny. Her cheeks are tinged pink and her lips are swollen. Fuck, she’s gorgeous.

  “Spooked?” I tease.

  “We talking about that crazy eye of yours, because, if so, that’s pretty spooky.”

  I give Penny a playful smack to the ass before stepping away. “Keep it up, English. One of these days I’m gonna punish you for all your insults.”

  Her blue eyes twinkle and she smiles.

  She fucking smiles.

  With the sun shining on her golden-blond hair, she looks like a goddamn angel, too. All I can do is stare, because this girl is going to wreck me in the best possible way.