My Torin Read online

  I snuggle against his hard, muscled body and try not to dig my fingernails into his flesh. I just crave safety. Torin freaked me the hell out. As soon as my mind settles and my heart isn’t racing a hundred miles per hour, I attempt to analyze what just happened. Was he trying to apologize? By pinning me down in bed and licking me? A shudder wracks through me.

  Tyler mumbles in his sleep, but then his arm curls around me. His hand settles on my hip in a way that feels as though it belongs there. I hike my thigh across his. His hairy legs feel unusual against my smooth ones. It makes me want to rub up against him more, but I don’t want to wake him up. After a few minutes, I start to nod off.

  Creak.

  I whimper, suddenly alert.

  Footsteps thud away, taking my stuttering heart with them.

  This time, I fall asleep quickly, knowing Torin’s no longer around.

  I wake up sweating. It’s dark, per usual, but it feels like morning. As I come to, I recall where I’m at and who I’m with. Sometime during the middle of the night, I rolled over onto my side and Tyler curled himself up behind me. I’m nestled against the curves of his body. He breathes deeply, stolen by sleep, but his hand is under my shirt, palming my breast.

  I’ve gone to second base with a person who’s sleeping.

  The very thought that Tyler Kline—the gorgeous, funny, smart, successful Tyler Kline—is sleeping with his hand on my boob sends currents of heat radiating through me. My nipples harden at this realization. His thumb runs over my nipple and a choked sound escapes me.

  He’s going to panic when he wakes up.

  I know Tyler. He’s not shown one spark of interest toward me. Only friendship.

  Which is why I should be pulling away, not wiggling my ass against his cock. Not delighting in the way it hardens against the crack of my ass. Definitely not contemplating touching a man in a place I’ve never touched before.

  Pull away. Walk away. Leave the room.

  Instead, I remain completely still. A small gasp escapes me when he rubs my nipple again. His cock is eager and straining against his boxers. My panties are soaked from my desire.

  I know the moment he wakes because his body trembles. His lips find my shoulder as he mutters the word “fuck.” And then he’s peeling himself away from me. Disappearing into the bathroom. Hiding in the shower for too long. Unable to pretend to be asleep any longer, I sit up and slide my legs off the side of the bed. They’re bare and cold, but I want him to see me like this.

  I wait until he emerges from the bathroom with a towel around his waist.

  “Hey,” I murmur.

  He stops in the doorway, his shoulders stiff. I can’t see his features. The bathroom light pours into the room from behind him, but his face remains shadowed. “Hey. How’d you end up here last night?”

  I wish I could see if he was checking me out or not. That would make all of this a lot easier. “I…” I trail off as I contemplate whether or not I should tell him about Torin.

  He saunters past me to his dresser, flicking the overhead light on along the way, and pulls out some sweatpants and a shirt. I’m disappointed when he goes back into the bathroom and closes the door behind him. I stand and start to leave when he comes back out. With his hair wet and hanging in his eyes, he resembles his brother more than ever. The simple white T-shirt stretches over his muscled chest and the gray sweatpants hide little to the imagination. He’s naked beneath them and that thought makes my thighs clench.

  “Casey.” His voice is stern. Fatherly. It makes me want to throw my arms around him and make him promise me everything will be okay.

  “Yeah?”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I have nightmares sometimes.” Not a lie. But what happened last night was real.

  He softens and pulls me to him for a hug. I’m hyperaware of every hard part of his body. His cock nudges me against my stomach, sending an explosion of butterflies scattering around inside me.

  “Go get dressed and we’ll have breakfast together,” he pleads, his voice strained.

  I tilt my head up and admire his handsome features. Soft, supple lips. A slightly scruffy face. Eyebrows pinched together as if he’s in pain. It’s his eyes, though, that flicker with unspeakable sadness. I want to soothe away what hurts him.

  Is it me?

  Do I upset him?

  “I’m almost eighteen,” I mutter, my voice shaky.

  He grips my biceps and gently pulls me away from him. His eyes have darkened. “Get dressed. Breakfast. Please, Casey.”

  I blink back tears and nod before bolting from his room. Once inside mine, I turn on the lights and eye the space with suspicion. I’ll keep the door locked tonight. When I make my way over to the bed, I’m stunned to see pennies arranged in the shape of a C.

  With a huff, I swipe them all into the floor. They ping and scatter as my tears follow suit.

  I eventually find my composure and take a quick shower. I do, however, take my time applying makeup. Since I’ve been here, I haven’t felt the need to hide behind makeup. Today, I just need that layer. I line my eyes in a dramatic way and paint my lips a luscious matte crimson color. My eyes look wider and more innocent, but my lips scream sex. I don’t know what I’m trying to do but being seen as a kid isn’t one of them. My hair gets piled up on top of my head in a messy bun. I hunt through my outfits and decide I don’t own much that’s feminine. Eventually, I settle on a pair of fitted jeans and a white thermal shirt I usually wear under T-shirts. Today, I pair it with a black padded bra and push my sleeves up to my elbows. I slip my feet into my warm Uggs Tyler ordered for me before grabbing a handful of noisy metal bracelets to finish off my edgy-yet-hopefully-sexy look. One quick pass by the mirror tells me I look nothing like the girl in a tank top and panties not thirty minutes before.

  I follow my nose and find Tyler at the table per usual. This morning, he doesn’t don a crisp suit. No, he looks disheveled and spacey. Dammit, I did this to him. He still wears the same outfit from earlier and he still looks sexy as hell in it.

  “What’s for breakfast?” I question as I walk purposefully slow, hoping to catch his eye.

  He lifts his gaze from his iPad and his brown eyes widen. “Uhh…”

  A smile tilts my lips up on one side as I walk over to him. I steal a piece of bacon. “Looks like the usual. Bacon, eggs, waffle, fruit.” I linger for a moment, silently pleading for him to touch me. When I’m certain he won’t and it’s becoming creepy on my part, I let out a small sigh before settling in my chair.

  “Is everything okay?” The circles under his eyes are especially dark today. Makes me wonder if I’m doing this to him. Do I stress him out?

  “Peachy,” I lie. When things are fine, Tyler is happy. But it’s like he’s an empath or something, absorbing negative emotions and feeling them right along with those suffering around him.

  And that makes my guilt skyrocket.

  He lets out a sigh of relief. As he opens his mouth to speak, the panel in the wall opens, and Torin bursts from it, startling me. I stare him down as he strides over to his chair. His hoodie is pulled over his head, but he’s wearing the one without the sleeves. I’m forced to look at his perfect, muscled frame. To remember exactly how he felt with his nearly naked body pressed against mine. My core throbs and I internally curse myself for being so stupid. Torin’s eyes lift to meet mine, an apology dancing in them.

  Or maybe I’m just seeing things because he breaks contact and barks out the word “bacon” like it’s a command before devouring every piece on his plate.

  I let out a soft sigh and attempt to choke down my food. The air between the three of us is strained today. I don’t like it.

  “Casey-Casey.”

  I close my eyes, but that is the worst thing ever because then I can almost sense his breath against my ear—the wetness of his tongue as he licks me. When I snap my eyes open, both brothers stare at me with the same expression on their faces.

  Tortured.

 
; Pained.

  Sad.

  I frown because I want to know what it is about me that people don’t like. What it is about me they find so repulsive. Last night felt like Torin wanted me, but now he regards me with such a despondent look that I want to crawl under the table and hide.

  “I thought we could get out of the house today. Maybe ride the horses,” Tyler says, his voice gruff.

  “No,” Torin snaps and then cracks his neck.

  “Okay,” Tyler utters. “Maybe we could go for a drive.”

  “No!”

  Tyler shoots me a helpless stare.

  “I’d like to get out of this house,” I admit, my voice shaking.

  Torin blinks at me in surprise. “Casey-Casey.”

  I lift my chin, ignoring Torin, and meet Tyler’s stare. “Please get me out of this house.”

  I’m sorry.

  I’m so fucking sorry.

  My feelings for Casey confuse me. Every male part of me screams to reach out and caress her pale skin. To pepper kisses along her throat and suckle on her collarbone. The man in me craves to pin her down and fuck her like she’s mine.

  It’s like my veins are alive and squirming. My normal buzzing is gone. I’m different around her. Not so out of control. My heart inside my chest thrums and pounds as if it has the power to control my stupid fucking body.

  Mine. Mine. Mine.

  But she’s not mine.

  In fact, she may be his.

  Fury at my brother—sudden and fierce—assaults me. I want to rage and send punches through the walls of the dining room. Instead, all I can do is curl my hands into fists. All I can do is stare at her with her chin lifted and tears swimming in her eyes.

  I did that.

  I upset her.

  Stupidly, after researching everything there was to know about Casey Doe, my mouth worked against me and recited every detail I’d learned. I was overcome with information that needed to escape—information that made sense once I connected all the dots. Even as she slunk into her chair and her cheeks turned pink with embarrassment, I didn’t stop. I subjected her to something that clearly hurts her.

  Fuck.

  When I checked on her last night to make sure she was okay, I was lured in by her sweet scent and the soft sounds of her breathing. It started simply enough. I wanted to touch her. To run my fingertips along her forearm. But the moment I got close, I had no control. Hell, maybe for once I did have control, because I needed desperately to smell and taste her. I’ve never been overtaken by such a carnal feeling before.

  Apologies.

  They were on the tip of my tongue, begging and pleading for release. I wanted to crawl on top of her and whisper them into her ear. My mouth had other ideas. Greedily, my tongue and teeth decided tasting was more important than words.

  Fuck, she tasted sweet.

  I’ve never been with a woman. Sure, I’ve wanted to, but who the hell would want to be with someone like me?

  But Casey?

  She’s real and beautiful and here.

  Smiling and laughing and filling our quiet house with sounds and life.

  I want her so fucking badly.

  Yet, all I do is ruin every encounter I have with her. Last night, I scared her—sent her running straight into the arms of my brother. And while I love that she’s comfortable around him too, I’m jealous as fuck that he can hold her like she deserves to be held.

  Can I watch on the sidelines as their relationship evolves into a romantic one?

  The thought sickens me.

  I love my brother, but that would be fucking torture.

  She’s mine.

  “Casey-Casey,” I utter, my voice raw. A motherfucking plea.

  She refuses to look at me. Tyler, hair messy and dark circles under his eyes, seems concerned about her but mostly tired, as though he hasn’t slept well lately. Concern scratches away at my insides, but I don’t have time to process because he’s flashing a bright—albeit fake as fuck—smile on his face.

  “Let’s go ride.”

  They both rise to get ready. I remain seated, thinking.

  I’ll ride too.

  I’ll make her see I’m sorry. Somehow. Some way.

  Don’t give up on me, Casey. I’ll make it right.

  Tyler is quiet as we walk to the stables. My normally affectionate friend is maintaining his distance. This morning proves he’s not interested in me. The way his body responded to mine as he slept was purely physical. His voice is the normal chipper voice I’m used to, but it’s lacking the same life. It feels forced. A mask slid into place.

  “Lightning is the calmer of the two horses. After what happened, and she got hurt, she hasn’t ridden the same since. She likes to walk at her own leisurely pace and on occasion when she’s feeling frisky she will trot. But I’d feel better riding her,” he says, his tone slightly clipped.

  At first I think it’s because he’s angry with me. I catch a glimpse at his face and I see it. Pain. Unmasked. Bleak. Crushing.

  “What’s wrong?” I demand, clutching onto his hand despite his clearly not wanting to touch me.

  His face pales and he shakes his head. “Damn migraine. I should have grabbed some meds before we left.” He clenches his teeth and looks past me at the stable.

  “Do you have them often? The migraines?”

  He closes his eyes and presses his lips together. “Yep.”

  “Maybe you should go to the doctor—”

  “I see a doctor for them and I have meds,” he snaps, unlike the Tyler I know so well.

  “Okay.”

  His shoulders relax and he regards me with a soft look. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine,” I lie. It’s not fine. I want to pry into his mind and see what’s going on there.

  “Casey-Casey,” Torin barks, pushing between us, knocking our linked hands apart.

  “Rude!” I yell out after him. I’m mad at him still. Not like he cares. I watch as he stalks into the stable dressed in a pair of jeans and a black pea coat. The coat has no hood, which is surprising, but he’s pulled a beanie on over his head. As he strides confidently to the barn, you’d almost confuse him for…

  Someone normal?

  Define normal, Casey.

  I retract my thoughts. Torin is too complicated for me to understand. This whole situation with the Kline brothers is messy and strange. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or feel or think. I don’t understand why I’m here. Honestly, I don’t think Tyler knows either.

  But I am here.

  “Come on,” Tyler says as we follow Torin into the stable.

  I pause, fixated on the way Torin preps both horses as if he does this all the time. He’s so unlike his normal self, that all I can do is stare. Tyler seems relieved that Torin is doing all the work. And that is not normal for Tyler. It makes me worry.

  Once Torin has everything situated, he stalks over to me, his brown eyes intense and focused on me. My skin heats at his attention. It reminds me of last night when he was pressed against me, licking and nibbling on me. The cold November day is an afterthought because I’m a blazing inferno right now. When he reaches for me, I flinch. I can’t help it. I don’t know what to expect with him. But instead of being offended, he grips my chin with his fingers, staring down at me.

  “Thunder.”

  Tyler grunts. “Lightning, with me.”

  “No,” Torin growls. He actually growls. “Thunder.”

  “Goddammit, Torin,” Tyler complains, but his voice is resigned. Tired. Sad. Why the hell is he so sad?

  “I don’t want—” I start, but Torin grabs my wrist and hauls me behind him. He’s strong and gripping me tight. Where our skin touches, mine burns with awareness. He leads me to the black horse who looks a little sketchy. Torin’s grip finds my hips, making me gasp in surprise. Before I can ask what he’s doing, he hefts me up onto the horse as though I weigh nothing. Practically tosses me up on the horse as if it’s no big deal. And then he’s climbing on behind me.
His solid, muscular frame leans against my back as one arm curls around my middle and the other latches onto the reins.

  Holy shit.

  Torin Kline is holding me in a protective, possessive way that has my heart rate going nuts and my skin pricking with desire.

  Desire.

  For Torin.

  A surge of heat blazes through me, settling at my core. The way he licked me last night…the way he ground his erection against me. Dammit, it was hot.

  “Casey-Casey,” he mutters, his grip tightening around my middle.

  I relax against him as he guides the horse from the barn. Tyler watches us with a brilliant, gorgeous, purely elated smile. It makes my chest expand. Happiness on Tyler is one of the best things I’ve ever encountered in my life. It’s infectious.

  “Keep her safe,” Tyler calls out. “I’m going back up to the house to lie down.”

  Torin doesn’t respond, but it ripples from him. He will keep me safe. I can sense that with every part of my being. I nod to Tyler and wave.

  Thunder trots along, but once Torin gets him out in the open, he makes a sound and then urges the horse to go faster. Thunder must love to run because he goes from trotting to sprinting in the blink of an eye. A nervous squeal escapes me as we bounce along. Torin keeps me locked against him, safe. Once I determine I won’t fall, I try to enjoy the ride. The trees whiz past us and soon I start giggling.

  This is fun.

  Free. Wild. Untamed.

  Torin’s fisted hand releases and he splays his palm out on my lower stomach. My breath catches in my throat. I groan in anticipation, wondering if he’ll move his hand higher or down south. The image of his hand cupping my pussy is dizzying.

  The horse slows and stops near the lake. I can’t even take in the pretty view because I’m holding my breath, wondering what Torin will do next. He nuzzles his nose against my hair and inhales me. Soon, something hard presses against my ass. His erection. I turn him on. Me. Cocaine Casey.