This Isn't You, Baby (War & Peace Book 4) Read online

  Over the years, I’ve studied Esteban and Duvan when they’ve visited, knowing one of them could be my future. I’m terrified of the unknown with either of them. Esteban always seems to be hiding his intentions for me. As if he locks away some hideous monster that wants to devour me.

  A shudder ripples through me and I quickly divert my eyes to Duvan who watches me with narrowed eyes. He leans back in his seat, seemingly aloof, but I sense a blaze that all but burns from within him. In his nearly black eyes, a furious flame flickers in the dark. I’m afraid if I stand too close, I’ll get burned.

  Duvan is no better than Esteban. He’s always been crude—he blatantly fucks me with his eyes. His words border on menacing and flirtatious. I’m afraid he’s a barely caged animal. Women are naturally drawn to Duvan because of his ridiculously good looks, but it’s me he always watches from every corner of the room while Vee and I laugh with Oscar. Not those other women. Me. And the intensity with which he does it scares the hell out of me.

  Why couldn’t it have just been Oscar?

  Easy. Playful. Nice.

  My friend.

  His brothers are far from friendly.

  Camilo leans forward and pins me with a fierce glare that sends a shiver rippling through me. “My two eldest sons have each presented their arguments to me as to why they shall be the one to bind our two families. While both presented valid points, in the end, the victor is Duvan.”

  I stop listening after the mention of his name.

  Duvan Rojas.

  My future husband.

  “What...what was the deciding factor?” My bottom lip wobbles and another stupid tear sneaks out.

  Camilo beams at me, reminding me a little of Oscar when he does. “He thinks he can love you. And as these boys know well, I loved their mother completely and without fail until cancer took her away from us in ’04. Our marriage was arranged long ago and, at that time, I loathed the idea of marrying her. But I grew to love her, and Duvan has the ability to love you too. Esteban will always love his career—our family business—more. While that is an admirable quality, love will only make this family union more valid.”

  Love?

  I’ll never love Duvan.

  “Why couldn’t I have just married Oscar?”

  Oscar lifts his head and his eyes are red rimmed. My heart breaks in two for my friend.

  Camilo reaches over and squeezes Oscar’s knee. “My boy is too young to settle down. He has his whole life ahead of him. Duvan has completed his college studies and Esteban is pushing thirty. It is time for them.”

  I bite back the retort that I am too young to settle down. That I have my whole life ahead of me. That I am still a virgin and have no idea how to be a wife.

  I clear my throat instead. “May I be excused?” My voice is but a whisper for fear of letting my anger bleed through.

  Heath grabs my hips and lifts me to my feet, his hands lingering for a moment. When I flit my gaze over to my future husband, his jaw clenches. His narrowed eyes remain fixed on where Heath is touching me. I can almost feel the flames about to burst from him.

  Great, my soon-to-be husband is possessive too.

  “Get some sleep, Gabriella. Tomorrow, Izzie is going to take you to the spa and shopping. You’ll need some new clothes for your move.”

  My eyes once again trail over to Duvan. He stands and eyes me like I’m a steak he’s about to cut into. Knowing him, he’s probably sharpened his blade for the occasion. Duvan is solid muscle and stands well over six feet tall. His shoulders are broad and always seem to stretch the fabric of his dress shirts. The tie around his neck is loosened and the top button undone, revealing a hint of a colorful tattoo. His black hair is always disheveled in a just-fucked kind of way. He’s hot, no doubt. But he scares me.

  “Tell Izzie just a trim. Your hair is the perfect length right now,” Heath blurts out. I jolt in surprise. Usually he keeps his demanding and controlling ways to himself.

  “Come on,” Duvan grits out. “I’ll walk you to your room.”

  I accept his elbow and let him guide me from the office. I’m still too stunned to speak, and quite frankly, I’m terrified of this man. He doesn’t say a word as he guides me to my room. People are still milling about the house, the party in full swing, yet he doesn’t acknowledge any of them along the way. We pass through the living room and I feel someone staring. It makes my heart beat and I miss my dad—my real one. If he were here, he’d put a stop to all of this. Or, the father who raised me would have. The one I knew before that lunatic came along.

  Hysteria builds in my chest.

  This is really happening.

  My eyes lock on Vienna’s green ones that are red rimmed. A look of satisfaction and relief flashes over her features to see Duvan at my side. I give her a small smile, but she looks down at her feet instead of returning one.

  “Will I still be able to talk to my friends?” I murmur as we head down another hallway.

  Duvan chuckles. “I’m not your master. You can do whatever you want, tigress.”

  Hope blossoms in my chest. “Thank you.”

  “Come here,” he says, his muscled arms open and inviting me for a hug.

  A quiver of fear races through me but I step toward him. I’m pulled against the big, hard man and it isn’t as terrifying as I expected. I remain stiff and uncomfortable in his grip, though.

  He pats my back but holds me to him when I start to pull away. I lift my gaze to his. His nearly black eyes glint with promise. “I’ll give you a lot more to be thankful for.”

  I swallow and force a smile. “Okay.”

  His arms fall to his side, and I scurry away from him toward my room. Before I slip inside, I turn to peek at him once more. He’s leaned against the wall, watching me with his bulky arms folded across his chest.

  “Brie…”

  An angry scowl paints his face, and for a moment, I’m afraid he’ll say something mean.

  “Yeah?”

  He seems to deliberate his words for a second, making the moment almost become awkward. “Promise me you’ll do whatever the fuck you want with your hair. He doesn’t own you,” he growls, his nostrils slightly flaring.

  The smile that graces my lips this time is honest. “I promise.”

  At that, he winks and then turns on his heel.

  “You’re too young to date,” Dad says simply and kicks his feet up onto the coffee table. Saturday nights we watch eighties movies. Dad chuckles the whole time while I tease him about their clothes and hair. It’s our thing while Mom’s at work.

  I stick out my bottom lip and pout. “Fifteen is not young, Daddy.”

  His brown eyes swirl with barely contained rage. “It’s too young for my daughter to date. You can date when you’re sixteen. Maybe.” He scratches his beard with his fingertip. “Actually, eighteen. You can date when you’re eighteen.”

  I huff and cross arms over my chest. “This is unfair.”

  He wraps an arm around me and pulls me into his side despite my pouting. “Life’s unfair, Brie baby. Get it through your thick skull.” He taps the top of my head with his fingertip and then kisses my hair.

  “But all the other girls at my school date.”

  “And all the other girls will get knocked up or get their hearts broken or get an STD. My girl will be safe.” He hands me a piece of red rope licorice, and I snatch it from him despite my irritation.

  Letting out a sigh, I text my friend Lennon back.

  Me: I can’t go out with Jacob.

  Len: WHAT?! WHY? HE’S THE HOTTEST GUY AT OUR SCHOOL!

  Lennon is a drama queen.

  Me: I know. Lame.

  Dad can read my text, but I don’t care. He’s pretending to watch the movie, though.

  Len: Maybe I should date him…

  Rolling my eyes, I tap out my response.

  Me: You can date him for three years and then he’s mine. ;)

  Dad lets out a chuckle and a smile tugs at my lips.

&nbs
p; “If you were allowed to date, there would never be any contest. Lennon’s lucky I’m doing the poor girl a favor and making the playing field more even,” he says, a smile in his voice. “Plus, I’m getting too old to have to kill little boys for getting handsy with my little girl.”

  I laugh. “You wouldn’t kill them.”

  “Oh, but I would.”

  Snuggling against my dad, I realize I’m happy. Jacob is kind of lanky and kind of hairy and kind of has an annoying laugh. And he probably hates eighties movies.

  Maybe Dad does know best.

  I wake from a heavy sleep when I hear something hit my window. Another tap has me slipping out of my bed and stumbling through my dark room toward the cause. When I lift the window and look out, I find a hot, shirtless boy looking up at me, his black baseball cap flipped backward on his handsome head.

  “Ren!” I hiss. “What are you doing here?”

  The party guests have long gone home but someone could see him out there.

  “I came for you, like I promised.” He flashes me one of his signature crooked grins that make me weak in the knees. I haven’t seen him in so long. He looks bigger and somehow hotter.

  “I’ll sneak out.”

  I leave the window and slip into the bathroom to brush my teeth quickly. My hair is a wild mess so I gather it all up and twist it into a bun. I’m wearing a thin nightgown that hits me mid thigh. Rather than changing, I decide to leave it on. I snatch a pair of flip-flops and tiptoe over to my door. Slipping through, I start past Vee’s door when she whispers my name. I freeze before poking my head into her room.

  “You okay?” I ask.

  “Where are you going?” Her voice is cool but not hateful.

  “To see Ren.”

  She sniffles as she sits up in her bed. “Are you seeing him or are you running away?”

  “I’m just going to go talk to him,” I promise. My voice chokes up as I whisper my apology. “I’m sorry about tonight. It wasn’t what it looked like.”

  Her thin arms cross over her chest and she purses out her lips. “Don’t be gone long or I’ll tell Dad you’re with Ren Loveland.” I hate that she ignores my apology.

  Heath doesn’t know anything about Ren, other than the fact that he mowed our lawn, and I’d like to keep it that way.

  “I promise.”

  When she doesn’t reply, I take my leave and exit her room. Every step through the house seems like I’m a big elephant thundering through the halls. I’m sure Heath will wake and be furious with me. Luckily, though, I manage to escape unscathed.

  When I reach the gardens, Ren is nowhere to be found. I start down the driveway toward the road when two strong arms wrap around me from behind. I’ve been in his arms enough times to know it’s Ren.

  “I missed you, beautiful,” he says and hugs me to him.

  Relaxing in his arms, I let out a sigh. “I missed you too.”

  He releases me and snatches my hand. “Come on. Let’s go across the street to the beach.”

  We sneak off of Heath’s property as Ren guides me onto the beach behind a sandy dune. He’s already prepped the area with some blankets and an ice chest. I smile because he looks so handsome in the moonlight as he sets to smoothing out the blanket before sitting. Then, he pulls me into his lap so that I’m straddling him.

  “God, you smell so good,” he groans and buries his face in my hair. “I’ll never get enough of how you smell.”

  Knocking his hat off, I let out a giggle and thread my fingers into his hair that seems longer than the last time I saw him. “I taste even better,” I tease.

  His palms find my ass and he pulls me closer to him. He’s hard beneath me and the urge to grind against him is overwhelming.

  “I’ll be the judge of that,” he growls before crashing his mouth to mine.

  Ren’s kisses are always fervent and needy. I like how he seems to devour me each time. His hands roam my body as if he’s worshipping me with his touch. I’ve never felt like someone not only wanted me, but that they needed me too. Ren makes me feel needed.

  I let out a soft moan when his tongue pushes into my mouth to taste my own. My fingertips are greedy. I run them along his bare neck and shoulders and to his chest as we kiss. When I run them between us toward his belly button, he lets out a hiss. His erection jolts with excitement.

  “This nightgown is such a damn tease,” he murmurs against my mouth, his palms slipping underneath it to stroke my back.

  “So take it off,” I urge him and actually do grind against him this time.

  “Fuck!”

  His able fingers tear my gown from my body in one quick movement before coming around to my front. He kneads my swollen breasts with his large palms. I look down at his hands on my flesh. His large hands easily cover both of my barely C cups.

  “Look how fucking perfect you are,” he praises, his thumbs running across my hardened nipples.

  Our eyes meet and his are like looking into a mirror.

  Lust and excitement.

  Need.

  Desire.

  “Just say the words, beautiful.”

  “I need you. All of you.”

  He lets out a pained groan before flipping me onto the blanket on my back. His eyes dance over my flesh as an appreciative smile graces his lips. I chew on my bottom lip as he tugs my panties from my otherwise naked body.

  “Are you a virgin?” he asks, his voice deep and husky as if the thought excites him.

  “Not for long,” I taunt.

  He gives me a crooked grin that makes me blush and begins undoing his shorts. When his large cock springs free, I shiver. Ren must take this to mean that I’m cold because he grabs the extra blanket and wraps it around his back. He then covers me with his chilled bare flesh. His cock presses against my pubic bone making me squirm with need.

  “Are you on the pill?”

  Nerves light up my flesh and I nod. “Are you, um, safe?”

  He nods. “I’ve only been with one girl and it was a few years ago. We used condoms every time.”

  “Okay,” I manage. “Will this hurt?”

  His brows furl together. “I hope not.”

  I spread my legs as he prods at my entrance with the tip of his cock. He doesn’t push into me like I expect and wish he would. Instead, he teases my sensitive clit with the head of his penis until I’m clawing at his shoulders.

  “Ren, please…” I murmur.

  He chuckles and the sound nearly makes me lose it. “Once you come, I’ll give you what you need, beautiful.”

  His words dance on my flesh and tickle me right toward the edge. With sure movements, he rubs against me until my body seizes up with pleasure. It’s then he chooses to push into me with one powerful thrust. The sharp pain is overshadowed by the climax still rippling through me. And when I come down from my high, he slowly starts to move inside of me.

  “You’re perfect,” he murmurs against my lips.

  I’m completely caught up in his gaze that alights my entire soul. I’ve been looked at as if I’m something to be ravished and devoured, never revered and worshipped. Ren elicits that feeling of belonging that I no longer have now that my parents are both gone. He lets out a groan and murmurs an apology as he comes quickly inside me. My insides feel raw and torn and burning, so I’m glad he wasn’t inside of me long.

  But where he’s slipping out of my body, he’ll never slip out of my heart.

  “Ren,” I say with a sigh and cup his cheek.

  He kisses me on the lips and lies on his side to stare down at me. “Brie.”

  “I’ve been waiting for far too long to do that.”

  His laugh is sexy and deep. “I’ve been waiting to do that since I saw you up in your tower, princess.”

  “Juliet to you, Romeo,” I tease.

  His eyes darken and he forces a smile. “I’m running away with you.”

  If only it were that easy.

  If only I could just run away with Ren Loveland and become Mrs. L
oveland instead of Mrs. Rojas.

  “Where would we go?” I question, indulging him. Heath wouldn’t let me get far.

  “Far away from here,” he assures me. “I could keep you safe.”

  I frown and play with a strand of his hair. “What about college and your parents? They won’t like you running away.”

  He doesn’t answer and I know it’s because his wheels are turning. Ren’s a good guy. Not someone to up and abandon his life for a girl.

  “I’m going to talk to my dad about this. I can help you before Saturday. Maybe you could even come to my college,” he says softly. “We’ll figure it out.”

  I give him a single nod. “Maybe.”

  We both grow quiet. I’ve been out here too long already and should get back in case Vienna decides to rat me out.

  “Call me tomorrow and let me know what your dad says.”

  He grins at me. “Have I ever told you you’re beautiful?”

  My heart swells in my chest. “A time or two.”

  His sexy smile is my undoing. “You’re beautiful.”

  “That’s three,” I tell him with a smile. “And you’re sweet.”

  After a lingering kiss on the front porch, Ren reluctantly pulled away from me. Our eyes were glued to one another until I shut the door quietly behind me. My body is sore and I feel raw inside where he made love to me. But I feel different. Grown and whole. Stronger. I’m smiling as I creep down the hallway.

  “Gabriella.”

  Heath’s voice sends a quiver of fear racing down my spine. I don’t see him in the darkness but I’m pretty sure the voice came from one of the guest bedrooms. When I peek my head inside, I can see his silhouette sitting on the massive mahogany framed bed. The moonlight shines in and illuminates part of the overly ornate room.

  “I was just getting a drink of water,” I tell him quickly as I approach him inside the room.

  His chuckle is dark. “Last I checked, the water in the Pacific Ocean isn’t drinkable, darling.”

  I freeze when he stands. His shadow stumbles forward. He’s completely wasted. Crap!