Moth to a Flame Read online

  Great. I had completely put yesterday’s events behind me, but now, they were suddenly coming back to me, causing my cheeks to flush.

  “Um, well, everything went fine,” I lied, avoiding his penetrating stare.

  He studied me a few moments before he nodded, appearing unconvinced, and walked back into the office.

  Whew. I’d dodged a bullet there. Pops had an uncanny way of knowing when things were wrong.

  I busied myself with the draw requests and the inputting of the inspection results. Since it was nearing ten, I hurried to the coffee maker in the conference room to get a pot started. When I was just finishing setting up the room I heard Pops calling me from his office. I rushed into his office and was nearly knocked off my feet when I ran right smack into my new favorite chiseled chest, his hand instinctively reaching out for my arm to steady me.

  What the hell?

  “Cale? Did you follow me?” I demanded, angry that he’d found out where I worked.

  He captured me in his baby-blue gaze, still rimmed with red from the mace. “Something like that.”

  “You two know each other?” Pops inquired, seemingly interested in our exchange.

  When I tore myself from Cale’s eyes and looked at Pops, realization hit me. Oh, God, please no…

  Pops eyed me knowingly. “Lia, meet Mr. Reeves.”

  Shit. Shit. Shit!

  “Mr. Reeves and I are going to discuss some matters beforehand, but I’ll call you in when I’m ready for you,” Pops told me.

  I nodded dumbly and walked to my desk, quite horrified at the turn of events. I got new shoes, dammit. This was supposed to be a good day. Pops was going to be pissed when he found out how I’d treated his new big client.

  Will Cale tell him what I did?

  Oh, God. Shoot me now.

  “Earth to Lia!” Anj hollered at me, pulling me from thinking that my simple life had just gone to crap in a matter of twenty-four hours. “Hon, did you see that fine specimen of a man walk through here? Mmmm, he is finger-lickin’ good! Yes, ma’am. Sure is. If you don’t think he’s sexy, girl, there is something seriously wrong with you. If I were single, I’d be all over that.”

  “Anj, you know I don’t date,” I huffed out, pouting.

  She rolled her eyes and went back to tapping her manicured nails on her keyboard.

  I was frustrated with the fact that Cale affected me so much. It was really starting to piss me off, definitely reminding me of my former self’s attitude, which rarely came out to play. I couldn’t even look at him without remembering him without his shirt on or the fact that he hadn’t been wearing any underwear yesterday.

  I wonder if he’s wearing any today.

  Shit!

  Task at hand, Lia.

  No worries. I was a businesswoman and I could keep this professional. I would apologize for my behavior yesterday and ask that he keep it between us. It was just that simple. I can handle this.

  “Lia,” Pops’s familiar voice boomed from down the hallway, “come on in here and take some notes.”

  I took a deep breath, looking at my Choos for a last-minute bit of courage, and walked down the hall towards the reason for the recent upset to my carefully structured world.

  “Get ‘em, girl,” a sweet, familiar voice called after me, reminding me to be strong.

  WOW. ALL I can say is wow.

  The beautiful siren with her deadly mace and killer, green eyes was the assistant to the lender I had chosen, Ben Johnson. Fate had a funny way of playing her masterful games. The moment the brown-haired beauty had run into my chest for the second time in two days, I’d been put under her spell indefinitely.

  After hearing a very fatherly ‘you hurt her, I will kill you’ speech from Ben, he called her back into the conference room. Clearly, he could see the chemistry we had. He’d have to be fucking blind not to, which I happened to know a thing or two about considering I was nearly a blind man yesterday.

  She hesitantly rounded the corner. Her cute, little chin was held high in obvious faux bravery.

  What the hell is she so out to prove anyway?

  Her heels clicked into the conference room while she successfully avoided my stare. I knew she felt me watching her because she blushed as she sat down and got right to business. I smiled as I studied those perfect, pouty lips. For the next hour, I tried not to watch her, especially when she would chew nervously at her bottom lip. It made me want to chew on it too. And suck on it…

  This girl was serious about her job as she efficiently took notes and asked Ben the appropriate questions. I even got the raised eyebrow a couple of times from Ben when he’d catch me staring at her. Shit, the old man probably thought I was a damn pussy instead of the respectable builder I’d become.

  At the close of our meeting, Ben looked at his watch and, after shaking my hand, excused himself to meet his wife for lunch. I stood, watching Lia as she gathered her notes and other documents I had provided.

  “Go out with me,” I told her boldly, startling her from her task.

  She peered up at me with those green orbs that said so much and frowned. “Cale, I told you I don’t date,” she sighed with frustration.

  “Why, Lia? Why won’t you have dinner with me? What are you so afraid of?” I demanded with genuine confusion.

  She flinched at my last question. The girl was a damn knockout and basically deemed herself to be unavailable for reasons unknown to me. I was going to try like hell to figure out what those reasons were.

  “Look,” she said in a tone that made me think she’d said this little speech a few times before. “You’re a nice guy and I am extremely sorry I maced you—even if you did deserve it.”

  That last part had me cocking an eyebrow. I grinned at her and she couldn’t help but return it. But she slowly dropped the smile and continued on.

  “It’s just that you are a client and it’s unprofessional. I’d never do that to Pops. Can we please just call a truce so we can carry on a strictly professional relationship?”

  She was the kind of girl I wanted to say yes to. To make her world spin just the way she liked it. She was my green-eyed goddess and I her lonely disciple, waiting for her every command. But this? No, this I couldn’t do.

  “No,” I muttered quietly, causing her eyes to dart to mine and search for where I was going with this.

  “What do you mean, ‘no’?” she hissed.

  In three long strides, I marched up to her petite frame and pinned her to the table with my closeness, never actually touching her. She didn’t shrink back like I’d somehow expected her to. Instead, she held that beautiful chin high, eyes glued to mine.

  Leaning my head down to where my lips almost touched the skin below her ear, my hot breath assaulted her flesh. “No.”

  Her body shuddered beneath that one spoken word. I pulled my face away to see her reaction. Those green eyes blazed with something I couldn’t put my finger on.

  Desire? Anger? Fear?

  She did tremble, however, when I delicately reached up and traced her chin with my thumb. My other hand slid up her neck, fingers resting around the back of it and thumb stroking her tender flesh around the front. Her eyes involuntarily fluttered shut when I used the thumb still on her lips to part them, pulling the bottom one down.

  Who is this girl?

  For a moment, I studied her soft skin and pert nose, allowing myself to marvel at her beauty. Whoever this mysterious woman was, she had me falling fast and hard, which was the last thought I had before I protectively wrapped my arms around her and crashed my lips onto hers.

  SAFE. PROTECTED. MINTY fresh.

  Wait, what?

  My momentary bliss was interrupted when my damn rational brain started raining thoughts down on me. Crap.

  What have I done now?

  This couldn’t happen. For one, this man who was sucking my lip between his teeth went against my strict ‘no dating’ policy, and two, he was my client. Ugh, this was so frustrating!

  I
half-sighed, half-moaned into his mouth as our tongues continued their exotic dance. His lips felt so soft against mine. He tasted a little minty and a lot manly. And his hardness was poking into my stomach as we kissed, making me throb in my womb for him.

  Reluctantly, I pulled away from his exquisite kiss, which would star in my dreams for years to come, and studied his searching expression. His arms, which were still wrapped protectively around me, heated my body to the core. I could feel his perfectly chiseled chest still pressed against mine.

  I closed my eyes once more and inhaled his unique masculine scent. When I reopened them and found him staring with an unreadable expression, I sighed with defeat. I knew it couldn’t go on, and with that, I pushed him away from me, releasing a bitter sound from my lips, knowing that was probably as close to real happiness as I’d ever get. At least for that moment, I’d remember that Cale had been mine and I had been his.

  Reality came crashing back down, causing me to reach down to grab my stuff and stalk out the door of the conference room without another word to Cale. It would never work. Could never work. Oh, God, but how I wish it would work.

  I made it all the way back to my desk, set my things down, and plopped very unladylike into my chair. Cale slowly walked out after me. I could feel him silently staring at me, waiting for some kind of response. He must have realized the spell was broken because I couldn’t even make eye contact, so he casually tossed his business card onto my desk before slipping out the door.

  Anger seethed through me—anger at myself for being weak and anger at my past, which prevented me from having a future.

  It was a quarter to seven, and Sam would be here soon to pick me up. My nerves were a frayed mess between what had gone on with Cale this morning and my impending dinner with Sam. Even though I saw Sam every week, the idea with going out alone with a guy had my anxiety peaking at new levels.

  Needing a moment of normalcy, I texted my mother:

  Me: Mom, I love and miss you. See you guys soon?

  Mom: Hey, sweetie! I love you too. We can’t wait to see you. We’ll for sure be there by Thanksgiving.

  Me: I met a guy and it’s a big disaster. And tonight I am having dinner with a different guy. I am a hot mess like Anj claims!

  Mom: Honey, you are not a hot mess…tell Anj I said to hush it! I am so PROUD of you for dating after all these years. While a career is important, having some sort of social life is too. About time you started listening to your mother! ;)

  Me: I love you, Mom.

  Mom: I love you too, sweetie. Tell me all about your date tomorrow!

  When I heard the crunch of gravel outside, I quickly slipped my phone into my purse. Then I noticed Cale’s business card sitting on the counter and snatched it up. Rubbing my finger across it, I couldn’t help but remember our time-stopping kiss today. In an effort to hold on to the nearness of him, I pocketed his card.

  A knock on the door signaled me that Sam had arrived. After peeking to check that it was him, I released all three locks and opened the door.

  “Hey,” he greeted as he hesitantly held out some roses to me. “These are for you.”

  “Wow. Roses. How sweet,” I gushed as I accepted the flowers. “Let me put these in some water before we go.” I ushered him in and then walked towards the kitchen.

  I couldn’t help but feel a teeny bit creeped out that he’d brought roses to our ‘friend’ dinner. Normal women didn’t complain when they were given roses. I needed to get my insecurities and fears in check if I had any desire at all to enjoy myself this evening. Sam was just trying to be a gentleman.

  After I got the flowers into water, we headed out the door in silence. Sam opened up the car door for me and waited until I was tucked into the car before closing it behind me. He hopped into the driver’s seat and turned to look at me as he started the engine.

  “You look absolutely stunning tonight, Lia.” He smiled, pinning me with his intense gaze until I felt the need to look away.

  “Thanks,” I murmured as I stroked Cale’s business card through my jeans. Knowing it was there oddly gave me comfort as this completely awkward night began.

  I SAT IN my truck thinking about what had happened with Lia just moments earlier. For someone who seemed dead set against dating, it felt like her heart had other ideas. That girl had some serious issues going on, and I intended to fix whatever made her that way—whether she wanted me to or not. I felt I would need a lot of patience with this girl.

  That kiss.

  That kiss was crazy, fucking amazing.

  She’d felt perfect in my arms. Again, it felt like she was always supposed to be there with me, even if I was a recovering fuck-up.

  Dad had always had the most impossible expectations for me. I hadn’t been able to just play football in high school—I’d had to be the star. My grades hadn’t been okay by just passing—they’d had to be perfect. Even my social life had been scripted and revolved around hanging out with my dad’s friends’ kids. He never acknowledged when I did well, just kept pointing to the future. Not my future, his.

  I wasn’t the only one he’d done this to. My poor mother had tried to live up to his impossible expectations all the time. The roast was never moist enough. His shirts weren’t pressed like he preferred them. So, to me, it hadn’t come as a surprise when she’d run off with her personal trainer, never looking back at either of us. My dad, however, had not only been shocked and embarrassed, but he had been absolutely furious that she’d left him of all people. Unfortunately for me, I became front and center at that point for him to focus on.

  My senior year, I met Madison. She didn’t come from Dad’s circle of friends and was what he considered “trash.” We began an unlikely friendship: prom king and goth queen. Madison didn’t give two shits about what anyone thought and stomped around in those damned combat boots she wore like she was crushing those who could never understand her underfoot. She cussed like a sailor, failed most of her classes, and smoked her cigarettes all over campus like she owned the fucking place. And I loved her for it.

  When I wasn’t pleasing Dad with football, school, and “approved” socializing, I was sneaking out with Madison, tagging buildings, and shooting the shit. Madison grew up poor with a shit-for-brains father who’d gotten his ass sent to prison when she was fourteen for sticking up the local 7-Eleven. Her mother was a workaholic at the local diner but pretty emotionally handicapped when it came to connecting with her only daughter. Madison was a very lonely person—but then again, so was I. We enjoyed each other’s presence because we were exactly what the other needed at the time.

  After graduation, we spent our last summer smoking all the weed we could find and drinking cheap whiskey. We spent nearly every night lying in the field behind her house. But whenever I would ask her what her plans were for while I was away playing football in college, she would blow me off with a wave of her black-fingernail polished hand. However, she did talk a lot about afterlife. Madison was goth after all. There were many nights she’d tell me that, when she died, she was going to come back as a mean-ass cat. She’d have a happy life of catnip and naps. I thought she just liked the idea of clawing people for the fun of it.

  On the last night before I had to leave for college, Madison grabbed my hand. With tears in her eyes, she told me, “I’m just a ghost of a person. You’re the only one who sees me, Cale. When I move on one day, don’t forget me. Put your badass dad in his place because you deserve a life that you choose for yourself. Find a girl that, when you find her, you’ll never want to let her go. Find what makes you happy, Cale. I love you.”

  I pulled Madison in for the only hug we ever shared and kissed the top of her head. “You got it, Mad. I’ll be back for fall break and we’ll spend every minute together. I’ll tell my dad to fuck off. You are not a ghost of a person. You are the only thing that makes sense in my fucked-up world. I love you too, babe,” I declared, releasing her.

  It felt like goodbye forever.

  Turns
out, it was.

  If I’d known it would be the last time I would see her, I never would have let her go. I was in school for just two weeks when I received the call that Madison had overdosed on prescription pills. To say that I was devastated was an understatement. At my next football game, I ended up beating the shit out of the other team’s quarterback after the game for no other reason besides the fact that I was distraught over having lost Madison. Dad’s words of encouragement were, “Suck it up and move on, Cale. She was just a distraction. Now, you can focus on your career and being a man.”

  His words did nothing but fuel my fury and hate towards him. I ended up going back to school for a few more months but flunked out by Christmas. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. The only joy I’d found in my ‘perfect’ life had been Madison. Without her, I felt nothing.

  Once my dad discovered what had happened with school, he ‘disowned’ me. Instead of feeling free like I’d always imagined, I felt even worse. I drank way too much and slept around more than I’d like to admit.

  Since my money ran dry the day my dad kicked his only son to the curb, I had to figure something out. A local construction company hired me to frame houses. Eventually, I learned a lot more from Ron, the owner. I was always thankful that he took me under his wing, even letting me stay in the garage apartment for practically nothing. Linda, his wife, made sure to always bring me leftovers. With a wink, she’d say, “A good cook’s food should never go to waste.” I spent every holiday with those two. Ron and Linda were what I wished my parents could have been.

  For the next few years, I worked hard as Ron’s apprentice, building homes. I didn’t do much for my own enjoyment other than throw myself into my quality of work. Ron always claimed that I worked too hard, but I think he secretly enjoyed it.