This Is Me, Baby (War & Peace #5) Read online

  But he doesn’t.

  I’m jolted to reality when he whispers against the shell of my ear. “They think I’m raping you. We don’t have much time. Just scream and make it sound like you’re struggling while I figure out what the hell we’re going to do.”

  I gape up at him in the darkness. The small beam of light from the flashlight isn’t enough for me to see his face. I’d like to imagine that if I could see him, he’d have the same mischievous expression I remember from before.

  He climbs off of me and rises to his feet. Then, he grabs hold of my shoulders and helps me to my feet as well. I’m still wearing Ren’s hoodie, so it thankfully covers my ass as it hits about mid thigh and I still have my Uggs on.

  “Scream,” he hisses as I hear the click of his weapon.

  I let out an ear-piercing scream that muffles our footsteps toward the door. With his gun poised and ready to shoot, he slowly drags open the door a crack and peeks outside.

  “There’s no one out here,” he mutters, his voice sounding confused. He drags the door the rest of the way open and we both wince at the screeching sound it makes. Then, he motions for me to follow him. Sunlight is still not visible as a winter storm begins to roll in. The wind is cold and powerful.

  “This way,” he tells me and motions for me to follow.

  I run after him but then stumble to a halt when we come across a dead body. A man who has a bullet through his skull. I can’t help but have a surge of hope welling inside me. Maybe Ren was able to find me.

  We’re headed toward the gate when I hear a familiar voice.

  “Daddy?” I murmur.

  “We need to go,” Oscar hisses and jerks at my arm.

  I wriggle from his grasp. “No! My dad is here! I hear him over there!” Pointing, I begin running toward the sound. Oscar curses behind me but quickly passes me with his gun raised. We pass three more unmoving bodies, and I can’t help but pray they’re all dead. Grunts and cursing and shouting can be heard from a shipping container fifty feet or so ahead that has its door open. When I hear Daddy’s horrified voice shouting Ren’s name, all thought vanishes from my brain—except for reaching them—as I bolt ahead of Oscar.

  As soon as I burst through the door, my entire world tilts on its axis. Blood. So much blood. Like Mom. Like Duvan. It causes me to stumble over my feet and gag from the sight of it. My eyes fixate on my dad for one second. He’s bloody and furious, but alive. Ren on the other hand…

  “What have you done?” I hiss at Camilo, no longer concerned about my own safety. “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”

  One of his men appears from the shadows and grabs me from behind. I go crazy trying to escape. He’s stronger and slaps a hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. My eyes land on Ren. Sweet, sexy, beautiful, perfect Ren. Completely drenched in blood. His head hangs in front of him and his hair hides his eyes from me. I can’t tell if he’s still alive or not. A sob catches in my throat as hot tears streak down my cheeks.

  “I should have known my son wouldn’t have been able to manage you. You probably sweet talked him right out of that container,” Camilo says in disgust as he stalks over to Ren. His bloody knife is the only thing I see, though. It’s a threat to my Ren.

  A man groans from the floor and stands on wobbly feet. When he regains focus, he roars at my father and pistol whips him. Everything blurs in front of me as the tears become too plentiful. We will all die here. All three of us. Two of the people I love most in the world sit in those chairs, bloody and weak. Camilo is going to end them all because of me.

  I squirm against the man holding me and when his hand slips off my mouth, I manage to cry out, “Oscar! Help us!”

  He charges into the container, but Camilo stops him with his harsh words. “That’s enough, hijo!”

  Camilo goes to stand behind Ren and grabs a handful of his hair. He yanks his head back so I can see Ren’s face. His eyes slowly blink open. When they fixate on me, he utters something unintelligible before attempting to smile at me. It breaks my heart into a thousand pieces.

  “Say goodbye to your lawn boy,” Camilo hisses. His blade comes into view and it takes me a half a second to realize what he’s about to do. He’s about to deliver the same fate to Ren that Heath did to Duvan. I should close my eyes. Not witness another horrifying act, but I refuse to abandon Ren in his last moments.

  The storm must be picking up because I swear I hear chaos ensuing outside of the metal containers. I wish the storm would pick us all up and carry us out to the sea. Drowning would be quick and painless. I wouldn’t have to watch those I love bleed out.

  “B-Brie.” Ren’s reverent way of saying my name has me sobbing so hard, I can’t breathe. I lock eyes with his half-lidded ones and convey every ounce of love I have for him with just one look.

  Camilo’s movement is quick as he slashes his knife across the front of Ren’s throat. I’m frozen even as a million things happen at once. Daddy freeing a hand and throwing a punch that lands in Camilo’s stomach, which jolts him. The man holding my mouth releases me as he’s tackled by Oscar.

  And then I’m running.

  Running. Running. Running.

  I have to get to him.

  Movement and shadows race around me but I ignore them as I all but tackle Ren in the chair. Blood runs from a slice in his throat and it’s Duvan all over again as I desperately hold my palm over the wound. I sob and kiss his bloody face.

  “D-Don’t leave me,” I beg through my tears. “Please don’t you dare leave me. I love you!”

  I slide out of his lap and hit the floor. I’m on a mission to free him from this chair. Shouts and thumping of metal resound behind me, but I don’t care. All that matters is untying Ren and getting him to a hospital.

  He. Will. Live.

  I will not go through this. Not again.

  Daddy’s voice shouts at me through my haze, but I attempt to ignore it. That is until he jerks me to my feet. I scream and fight him.

  “Shhhh, cariño,” Diego says and flashes me a bright smile in the darkness. “I must deal with Camilo and I can’t do that if you’re screaming.”

  I’m still gaping in shock at his surprise appearance when he quickly sheds his jacket and then rips at his dress shirt. The buttons go flying everywhere and echo in the container. A quick sweep of the room shows Oscar in one of Diego’s men’s grip and the other of Camilo’s men sprawled out on the floor. Daddy attempts to hold me back from the knife fight that is about to go down. Camilo appears enraged as he glares at Diego, his own knife out in front of him.

  “Long time, viejo,” Diego says as he tosses his knife back and forth between his hands.

  “I spared your life last time because you were a boy,” Camilo hisses. “I won’t make that mistake this time.”

  Diego laughs, a laugh that at one time scared me. But this time, I’m thankful for it. “I bear those scars all over my face and abdomen. Scars you decorated me with. A man doesn’t wear such scars without making a promise to himself to return them to the man who originally gave them to him.” Lightning quick, he slashes Camilo across the belly. It’s shallow but Camilo grunts in pain.

  “Why are you here?” Camilo hisses as he attempts to stab at Diego. Diego is fast, though, and he gashes Camilo’s forearm. The old man howls and stumbles back.

  “A deal is a deal,” Diego remarks and then flashes me another one of his flirty grins. “I promised the girl protection. So protection is what she shall get.”

  Camilo’s screams of rage echo through the container. “The bitch got you too?!”

  Diego does a series of quick arm movements that I soon realize are brutal stabs to Camilo’s stomach. Camilo grunts and falls to his knees.

  “Am I to make him suffer or am I to make him die, cariño?” Diego questions as he tosses his bloody knife back and forth between his hands again. Camilo has dropped his own knife with a clatter as he desperately attempts to block the holes in his abdomen that are gushing with blood.

  Oscar fights agai
nst the man holding him. His eyes are on his father, heartbreak shining in them. If I didn’t hate Camilo so much, I’d feel bad for him. Oscar jerks his gaze to me and pleads with his eyes, since his mouth is covered by his assailant.

  “Make him die,” I spit out, my entire body trembling with anger.

  Oscar’s eyes harden at my words and then he hangs his head, surely to avoid watching what’s about to happen. I, however, drag my gaze over to Diego who grins at me like he’s just won the biggest prize at a carnival game. I give him a nod. He lets out a hiss as he delivers a series of fatal stabs to Camilo’s heart. When the old man falls forward with a thunk, Diego starts toward me.

  Daddy growls. “Stay the fuck away from my daughter.”

  Diego narrows his eyes at him. “Want me to kill him too, cariño?”

  I shake my head. “H-He’s under my protection. As is Oscar and…” I trail off as a sob escapes me. Ren remains unmoving in his chair. “We need to get him to a hospital. Help me,” I plead.

  Diego motions at one of his men. “Leave the Rojas boy. Gather this other one and put him in a vehicle.” He snatches me out of my dad’s grip and hauls me to him for a hug. “Thank you, cariño. You’ve just made me a very rich man. You’re untouchable, little princess. If you need anything, even a little cock every now and again, you call Daddy Diego.”

  “Touch her again and you’ll be Daisy Diego when I cut your dick off,” Daddy barks.

  Diego laughs and releases me. He struts out of the container and out of my life.

  Two men pull Ren from the chair and work together to carry him from the container. Another man hits Oscar in the head with the butt of his gun. Ozzy crumples to the floor beside his father’s corpse. I know he’ll get out of here. Alive. And that’s all that matters. But right now, I can’t worry about Oscar’s well-being. The most important person is Ren.

  Please God, don’t let him die. I can’t do this again.

  “Sweetheart, you should eat something,” Baylee says, concern lacing her voice. “You’re pale.”

  I wave away the package of crackers she attempts to hand me and swallow down the urge to puke. When I lift my gaze, her eyes are bloodshot from crying. Her bottom lip trembles.

  “I love him,” I admit to her. “I always have. It’s just different but it’s love.”

  She pulls me into her arms, and I break down into gut-wrenching sobs for the tenth time today. Baylee strokes my hair in a way that reminds me of how Mom would when I was upset or sick. This only saddens me more. I desperately hug her, afraid she’ll suddenly leave me too.

  I’m the worst kind of luck.

  People who love me end up hurt. Or worse.

  “Brie baby,” Daddy murmurs from the chair on the other side of me. “I should take you home. You need rest.”

  Baylee hisses at him over my head. “Go check on my grandbaby. I can stay with her. You know it’s never a good idea for Hannah to be alone.”

  He grunts but there is resignation in his voice. I feel him kiss the top of my head. “Call me when you hear something.”

  Once he’s gone, I pull away from her embrace to look at her. “It’s been hours. This is bad, right?”

  Baylee darts her gaze to someone behind me. Then, I hear War’s voice. “The probability of him living is high. If they’re still in surgery, hopefully that means they’ve been able to repair the damage. Worse news would have been if they came out right away. At least we know they’re doing something back there.”

  “But his throat,” I murmur. “I watched Camilo slash it.”

  Baylee shudders and lets out a choked sob but it’s War who speaks again. “Gabe described the wound to me. It doesn’t sound as if it was as deep as you are thinking. You said yourself, he cut across the front. Had it been situated to one side, his carotid could have been severed but it doesn’t sound like it was.”

  Carotid.

  The same artery that was cut on my mother.

  I shiver and swipe away my tears so I can look at him. Right now, with worry etched on his face, he looks so much like Ren that it makes me start crying again. He sits down beside me and pulls me against his side.

  “He’s going to be okay,” he promises. I don’t know how he can promise such things but he says it with such conviction that I believe him.

  “This is all my fault,” I tell him through my tears. “If I’d have just come here and abandoned Duvan’s whole life, I could have avoided all this. I’m so sorry.”

  Baylee pats my knee. “This is not your fault, sweetheart. You were dragged into that life. And we’re the ones sorry for that. Hannah started this course. She’s sick and unstable. We failed her but we won’t fail you and Ren.”

  You and Ren.

  As if we’re a team and they’re our support network.

  I don’t know why this fills me with such joy, but it does.

  Mason stirs in his baby seat and Baylee absently rocks him. “We’re here for you, Brie,” she assures me and squeezes my hand. “The world has played some pretty cruel jokes on me by sending your father back into my life, only for him to fall in love with my mentally unstable child, but the joke was on me. I was given Toto.” She smiles at me. “And I was given you. We’re here for you.”

  Mom is gone. Duvan is gone. Ren is barely hanging on by a thread. But these two people are here. They provide the strength that two parents who love their children with everything they have. Ren is lucky to have them as parents.

  “McPherson family?” a deep voice calls out.

  All three of us jolt and War stalks over to the doctor. They speak in hushed tones, which makes my anxiety spike. But when War turns around to beam at me and give me a thumbs up, I break down in hysterical sobs.

  He’s okay.

  He’s going to be okay.

  AN ANNOYING BEEPING WAKES me from my slumber, and I suppress a groan. My dreams were filled with brown eyes and sweet smiles. I dreamed of Brie. A heaviness seems to hold me to my bed. I attempt to blink my eyes open to figure out what’s come over me. The beeping gets more annoying but then something warm grips my hand.

  “Shhhh,” the sweet voice murmurs. “I’m here. Calm down.”

  I relax because I like the sound of her voice. Like an angel. Am I in heaven?

  “My baby boy,” another female voice utters.

  My eyelids feel as though they have heavy lead weights attached to them, but I slowly manage to blink them open. The room is bright white and I squint against it. I hear some shuffling and the room dims. I’m able to open my eyes a little more. Dad stands at the end of my bed with Mom on his left. The angel with the pretty brown eyes sits to my left, clutching my hand.

  I try to tell her she’s beautiful, but my mouth doesn’t seem to work. So I settle for squeezing her hand. Tears streak down her cheeks and she leans forward bringing her beautiful face near mine.

  “You made it,” she assures me with a tearful grin. “You didn’t die on me.”

  I try to smile but it’s too difficult.

  “You’re still intubated,” Dad explains. “Try not to move or talk. Give it some time.”

  My eyes never stray from hers, though. I could stare at her for eternity.

  “We’re going to go grab some coffee,” Mom tells the angel. “We’ll give you two some time alone.” Mom kisses my forehead while Dad pats my foot. Once they’re gone, the beautiful one grins.

  “You scared me to death,” she murmurs.

  Brie.

  Her name is Brie.

  I could never forget such a pretty name.

  Sweet Gabriella. An angel in more ways than one.

  “And I thought I wouldn’t ever be able to tell you the words I so desperately need you to hear,” she chokes out. Her lips press kisses all over my face. I close my eyes because I want to relish in the way it feels.

  “I love you.” She pulls away to stare down at me. “Did you hear that? I love you, Ren McPherson. I have pretty much since the first moment you looked up at me in that window.
Something snapped into place then. A missing piece. A part of my heart that wasn’t fully formed. You slotted yourself right in and, truth be told, never left. My heart was dragged through the mud, stomped on, shredded, and abused. And yet, at the end of it, you were still there. Still hanging on for dear life. Embedded deep inside. There wasn’t much left of my heart at the end, but what was left was the part you still held on to. Here I was worried I wouldn’t have room for you in my tiny sliver of a heart,” she murmurs, tears freely falling down her face. “And yet the only room left was for you.” She draws my hand to her chest and presses it against her, so I can feel the thundering just beneath her flesh. “My heart is yours, Ren.”

  I reach for her with my other hand, despite the sharp pains that pull across my torso. With shaky movements, I swipe away her tears. Then, I tug her hand to my chest, mimicking her action. My heart pounds just as hard for her. I can’t say the words, but I hope she feels them. They’re thick as they cloud the air around us.

  I love you too.

  With every part of my being and then some.

  You’re mine, Gabriella Rojas, and I am yours.

  Fatigue threatens to steal me from Brie. I desperately attempt to burn her face into my mind, so that when I’m sleeping, I’ll think only of her.

  “I love you,” she reminds me as my eyes blink closed.

  I love you too.

  “She had the baby,” Brie tells me as she folds a small onesie and tucks it into a drawer.

  “Hannah?” I question as I sit up in the rocker that’s in the nursery. Pain ripples through my entire body, but I try not to let Brie know I’m hurting. She’ll try and shove more pain pills down my throat. It’s been three weeks since I left the hospital, but she still treats me as if I’ve just left surgery.

  “Daddy called,” she says. “It’s a boy. They’re calling him Land.”

  “After my grandpa?” I’m mildly irritated that Hannah has successfully stolen all of our grandparent’s names for her babies. She always was selfish. One day I’d hoped to pass on one of their names to one of my own children.