B-Sides and Rarities: A Collection of Unfinished Madness Read online

  “Crow,” he murmurs, seemingly attached already to his new nickname.

  “I’m going to miss my train,” I tell him finally.

  Truth is, I’m in no hurry to get home but the subways aren’t a safe place for a young woman at night. I’d rather spend my evening having playful banter with this good-looking Henry than rushing home to nuke up a TV dinner and watch endless reruns of Friends.

  “I’ll ride with you,” he states firmly.

  When my eyes meet his, I see that his good-naturedness is gone and he’s quite serious. It warms me that after a few minutes of speaking, this man already feels protective over me. He steps back and with a flourish of his hand, leads the way toward the platform.

  Together, we walk side by side until we reach the landing. The train hasn’t arrived yet but will be here soon. Everyone stands around looking at their phones or lost in their heads. I’m glad, for once, I have someone to stand with.

  “Do you live around here?” I ask.

  I turn to see him staring at the tracks thoughtfully. Finally, he breaks his trance and peeks over at me under his thick eyelashes. He’s shy and confident all at once—an unusual combination that most definitely intrigues me.

  “You could say that. I guess you work around here?”

  I frown, and his eyes narrow. “Yeah but hopefully not for long.”

  The sound of the train clattering along the tracks toward us steals our attention away. When it comes screeching to a halt and the doors open, I sneak another glance at Henry. His face is pensive as he watches me. Under normal circumstances, I might feel uncomfortable as someone attempts to visually peel away my layers.

  But not with him.

  Not with Henry.

  Instead, I smile at him and clutch on to his elbow. “After you, Crow.”

  Chapter Four

  Then

  “Why don’t you come to the diner and have some pie, love?” Duke suggests in a quiet tone.

  I tear my gaze away from where the cemetery caretakers are dumping dirt onto my mother’s grave to regard my mother’s former boss from the diner. His weathered lips are pressed into a grim line and his eyes are red-rimmed from crying.

  “Pie? I’m not hungry,” I murmur and once again become fixated on the cemetery worker’s efforts.

  “Natalie, you have to try and—”

  I cut him off when I snap my head over to him. “And what? Move on? I’m sorry, Duke, but let them at least get the dirt on her casket before telling me it’s time to move on.”

  He smiles sadly at me. “I was going to say you have to try and eat something. Of course you aren’t going to be able to move on, sweetheart. That was your mother. Susan always spoke so highly of you. She loved you dearly as you know.”

  Tears well in my eyes and I want to curse him for causing me to cry again. It’s all I’ve done for the past two months. Cry. And now that she’s actually gone, all I want to do is sleep.

  “I’m tired. I’ll come visit tomorrow,” I promise, but he and I both know it’s a promise I probably won’t keep.

  “Come see me in a few days or I’ll send Donna after you. You know she’s just itching to baby you.”

  I cringe at the mention of Duke’s head waitress and my mom’s friend. Donna is the kind of woman that will make a depressed girl crazy. Any time she comes to visit, she makes it her duty to open up all the blinds in the apartment because “we need to stop living like vampires” and cleans out the refrigerator. The woman flits around our apartment as if she’s the maid, digging shit out of cabinets and organizing piles. She’s exhausting to be around.

  Donna is the last person I need to see right now.

  “I’ll come by for breakfast.” This time my promise is solid and it earns me a pleased smile from Duke.

  He steps toward me and I allow him to envelope me in his arms. My grandparents on both sides are gone but Duke smells like what I remember of my Papa. Maybe it’s the Old Spice aftershave.

  Once he breaks away and begins slowly making his way down the hill toward his car, I once again turn my head to watch them finish burying her. Soon, I will have to pick up my purse from the ground and go home.

  Alone.

  Sad part is, I’m going to have to immediately look for a roommate because there’s no way I can afford the rent without Mom’s contribution. Before she passed, she’d poured all of her savings into prepaying for her funeral expenses. What she couldn’t cover, the funeral home graciously allowed me to set up a payment plan with them.

  An icy wind whips around my bare ankles that aren’t covered by my dress and I shiver, pulling my trench coat tighter around me. I want to sit with her here forever, but the sane part of me knows that isn’t an option.

  ABOUT THIS STORY:

  What happens when you accidentally let your best friend take the fall for something so horrendous it lands him in prison? How do you ever forgive yourself for something so terrible?

  The answer is…you don’t. There is no forgiveness.

  Only the sweet vengeance from a man whose life was ruined. Every breath, every thought, and every action will go into making her life a living hell. Revenge has never tasted so sweet.

  Skip to Bonus Track

  Prologue

  Jolie

  15 years earlier…

  He looks incredibly hot sitting at the edge of the pool, long legs dangling in the water. When standing, he towers over my small frame but it’s one of the things I love about him. There’s so many things I love about him. For one, he’s the hottest looking guy at our school and he’s my best friend. Of course I want to be more than best friends, but he wants to wait.

  When he sees me staring, he hungrily devours my appearance. I used my allowance to purchase a bikini from Victoria’s Secret. It barely covers what it’s supposed to, which is exactly why I bought it. He’s spent the entire night entertaining friends and family at his graduation party. I purposely stayed out of the way until they were mostly all gone. All that were left were a few friends from school and family that was staying with them.

  Thinking about him going off to college makes my heart clench painfully. I still have one more year of high school before I follow him there and it kills me. I’ve cried myself to sleep every night for months.

  I’m just heading his way when bitch Lennox squats behind him and starts massaging his shoulders. She’s incredibly gorgeous with her waist length blonde hair flattened to silky perfection. My blood boils knowing that she wants him. On several occasions she has made it known to me that she will one day fuck my best friend.

  He turns and grins at her, which makes my stomach roil. Thankfully though, she’s just telling him bye and leaves him. Gathering my nerve, I walk over to him swaying my hips in an effort to drive him crazy. I want him tonight—to lose my virginity to him before he leaves. There have been several times where we’ve kissed, but each time he stops things from escalating. He says he can’t go any further now that he’s eighteen. I don’t see what the big freaking deal is. We both want each other badly. I’ve felt how hard his dick gets when I sit in his lap. No matter how hard he tries, it’s impossible to deny our chemistry.

  “Hey Jolie,” he says as I approach him. Once again, I feel his eyes appreciating my body.

  “Hey Dax,” I greet as I sit as close as possible to him and dip my feet into the warm water.

  Electricity buzzes between us every time my foot hits his in the water. I know what I’m doing. I’m going to make this happen tonight, no matter what. Leaning back on my palms, I push my chest forward to give him a better glimpse of my breasts. It works because moments later he groans out in frustration.

  “Jolie, why do you do this to me? Do you know how fucking hard it is to resist you every day?” he growls as he places his hand on my thigh. A chill courses through my body as I realize how close his pinky is to the tiny shred of fabric that covers me. My body pulses for him.

  Turning my head to face him, I drink in his beauty. His brown hair is b
uzzed and I love running my fingers through it. On many occasions we’ve watched movies with his head in my lap while he lets me scratch his scalp. His green eyes are studying my face, mostly my lips, so I lick them. Another groan.

  “I’ve waited all night to spend time with you, Dax. To spend some time alone—talking,” I say sadly. My heart is broken that he’s leaving and I selfishly want the rest of his time until that moment when he leaves.

  “We’re talking now, Jolie,” he laughs.

  Standing, I grab his hand and pull him to his feet.

  “Come on, let’s go talk in the pool house,” I tell him and lead the way around the pool to where we tend to spend a lot of our time. Our parents are best friends as well, so they think it’s great we’re friends. His dad is the mayor and my dad is the police chief. We spend at least one night a week with both families together for dinner. I think our parents both secretly hope we’ll end up together after college.

  When we enter the pool house, Dax starts to turn on the light but I stop him. Locking the door behind me, we make our way over to the sofa in the dark. We sit down beside each other and his hand finds mine. With fingers threaded together, we enjoy the moment before he breaks the silence a little while later.

  “I’m really excited to take those art classes, Jolie. Dad and I toured the campus again and I met the Dean of Art. They have the most amazing facilities,” he tells me excitedly. Once again, I’m overwhelmed by the fact that he’s leaving me. Tears well up and spill over. I try to hide my sniffles in the dark, but he knows—he always knows.

  “Don’t cry, baby girl. Come here,” he soothes as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his lap. I snake my arms around his neck and nuzzle my face into his shoulder. One of his hands is resting at my ass and I shiver. Pulling away from his shoulder, I bring my face close to his. He leans forward and captures my lips with his. At first, it is innocent—almost sad.

  I urge his mouth open with my tongue and we taste each other. When I moan into his mouth, he grabs a handful of my ass. I break away from our kiss so I can straddle him.

  “Fuck,” he groans as I press myself against him. His dick strains against the thin material of his swim trunks. Since I’m wearing barely there material myself, I can feel the ridges of his cock between the lips of my pussy. It feels amazing.

  Our kissing becomes more heated as he clutches my ass, urging me to ride him. Reaching behind me, I pull the string of my bikini top so that my breasts are freed. I yank at the top string and it falls into my lap. This is the furthest we’ve ever gone together. He’s never seen me naked.

  He pulls away to drink in my body. The room is dark, but the moonlight shines in enough for him to get a good glimpse. “God, you’re so beautiful, Jolie,” he rushes out. His hands make their way to my breasts and he thumbs my nipples reverently.

  “I want you so bad, Dax. Please make love to me,” I beg. I find his lips again and kiss him hard as I try to coax out the answer I want. He pulls away and looks at me with such indecision.

  “Baby girl, we can’t. You know that. I’m fucking eighteen. You’re jail bait,” he tells me, but leans forward to kiss me again. I can sense that he hates his answer. Not to be deterred, I have another idea.

  “Slide your swim trunks down. At least let me jerk you off. You’ll get blue balls, Dax,” I purr against his lips. His hands are still caressing my breasts.

  “No, Jolie, I’ll just want more,” he whispers. Good, that’s exactly what I hope.

  “You’ve got an annoying amount of self-control,” I tease as my hands make their way to the top of his shorts. I’m surprised that when I work to push them down, he lifts his bottom to help me out. Sitting up on my knees, I push them down to his knees and sit back down on his thighs.

  “Wow, you’re so huge,” I admire as I grab his cock with both hands. My thumb strokes across the tip and I grin when I see that he’s wet a little. As I stroke him, he continues to massage my breasts. Using one of my hands, I untie the strings on either side of my swimsuit bottoms and pull it from my body.

  “Fuck, Jolie! What the fuck are you doing?” he growls, but keeps thrusting into my hand.

  “Nothing, Dax. I just want you to touch me, that’s all,” I whimper. One of his hands slides tentatively down my body and a finger grazes my pussy.

  “Oh, God,” I moan and toss my head back. He feels more confident as his thumb strokes me on my clit. It is a thousand times more amazing when he touches me than when I do it myself. The beginnings of an orgasm is building deep in my core. But I want to orgasm while making love to him. I’m so wet for him.

  “Dax, I love you,” I tell him for the first time. I’ve loved him for some time.

  “God, Jolie, I love you too,” he admits and kisses me deeply.

  In a swift move, I lift up on my knees and guide his cock between my folds. Quickly, I slam myself down over him. Excruciating pain tears through me as I effectively lose my virginity in one move.

  “Fuck, Jolie, what have you done?” he groans. He’s so still, as if he’s afraid to move. “Are you okay,” he whispers.

  I burst into tears for some unknown reason. It was supposed to feel good—not fucking feel like I was on fire.

  “Shhh, let me help you feel better,” he coaxes. His hand finds my clit again and strokes me faster. Things go from painful to pleasurable really quickly. I find myself riding him as he brings me closer and closer to my climax.

  “I’m about to come—” he groans and goes to pull me off, but my orgasm is rushing through me and intensifies when I feel him pumping his hot release inside of me.

  “Shit!” he shouts and pulls me off of him, tossing me back down on the sofa.

  “Dax!” I cry out. He’s cursing as he stands and yanks up his shorts.

  “Dammit, Jolie! What the fuck? We just fucked without a condom! I could have just gotten you pregnant!” He’s pacing the room nervously. I throb between my legs and all I want for him to do is hold me. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Shamefully, I quickly set to putting back on my swimsuit.

  “Dax, it’ll be fine. Please, I just want to hug you,” I tell him and take a step forward. In a heartbreaking move, he puts up both hands and steps backwards.

  “Don’t come near me, Jolie. We need some distance. I’m going away to college. It would be best if we stayed away for the rest of the summer. I’m sorry, but I can’t deal with this right now,” he growls and storms out of the pool house.

  Tears fill my eyes and I fall to my knees as sobs wrack my body. I’m devastated that he wants nothing to do with me. We love each other dammit!

  Standing up, I make my way over to the window to look for him. When he calms back down, we’ll make things right. I know it. We’ve had many arguments, but always come back to one another. My eyes scan the pool and I see him standing on the porch with bitch Lennox. I thought she fucking left! Just as I’m about to go out there and try to talk to him, she stands on her toes and kisses him. Fucking kisses MY Dax!

  But the next move horrifies me. He breaks from the kiss to look straight at me in the darkened window of the pool house. Turning back to Lennox, he pulls her in for a deep kiss and grabs her ass. He wanted me to see it.

  Sickened, I shakily slip out of the pool house and follow the fence to the gate. Once I’ve escaped undetected, I make my way home a couple of houses away in a daze. When I walk in the front door, my mother gapes at me.

  “Baby, what happened?” she asks quietly. I’m shaking and my makeup must be all over my face. Shaking my head at her, I stumble toward my bedroom.

  “Jolie! Is that blood? Oh my God, what happened to you?” she shrieks and pulls me into her arms.

  I can’t fucking stop crying. All I see is the way he kissed Lennox. My heart is shattered to bits. How can he love me but kiss her?

  “Roger, get in here,” she shouts to my father. Minutes later, he’s running into the room in just his pajama bottoms.

  “Baby, what happened?” he demand
s. He’s struggling with his roles here—concerned father and interrogating police chief.

  “Dax.” His name is all I can choke out between sobs. Dad is furious as he draws his conclusions.

  “Did Dax hurt you?” he asks softly. I nod, because he not only hurt me, he crushed me.

  “That motherfucker! Come on, we’re going to the hospital!” he growls and leaves me to find clothes. Mom snatches the blanket from the couch and wraps it around me while we wait for Dad to come back in.

  “Why are we going to the hospital?” I ask them confused. They exchange sad glances, but don’t answer me. Together, they usher me into the car. Mom sits in the backseat while she holds me. Maybe they can give me something for a broken heart at the hospital.

  Once we make it to the hospital and inside, he pulls a nurse aside to speak to her. She nods quickly and disappears. Moments later, she calls us into a small room.

  “Honey, are you hurting down there?” she asks soothingly. Yes, it is still on fire, but what I want most is something to numb the pain in my heart. I nod at her as more tears fall.

  “We’re going to take good care of you, sweetheart,” she tells me.

  I’ve messed up. Big time. Somewhere along the way, I realized they were processing me for rape. Once I understood that was what was happening, I tried to plead with my parents that it wasn’t true, but Dad very firmly told me not to try and protect Dax. The hospital psychiatrist assured us that it was normal for the victim to suddenly defend the perpetrator, especially if they knew each other. They completed their kit, administered a “morning after” pill, and sent us home. I just went along with it. Completely and utterly at a loss as to how to fix this mess.

  Once home and after a long hot shower, I crawl into bed completely exhausted. Dad walks in moments later and sits at the edge of the bed.