Cold Cole Heart Page 12

  This isn’t some ideation borne from a romance novel. This is real. Something does burn between us. Hot. Fiery. Intense. Unstoppable.

  And cold Cole Heart feels it too.

  I’M FUCKED. DEEPLY FUCKED. ALL my plans to hurt her and eventually end her have been derailed. The mark I gave her—a wicked heart meant to be a warning—has possessiveness wrapping its tentacles around my icy heart. She’s mine. Not that fuckface who did devious shit that rivals my own evil ways. I hate the way her eyes flicker in fear at the mention of him. I’ve stolen this girl, starved her, fucked her crazy, and hurt her. Yet, she doesn’t look at me like she does when she thinks about him. It maddens me.

  I’m jealous.

  I don’t want her to think about that monster.

  I’m her monster.

  The scariest fucking one of them all. I’ve promised to destroy her body and her soul. She knows this yet she clings to me like I’m her motherfucking savior.

  I won’t save her from anyone.

  Except him.

  I’ll tear his throat out with my teeth if I have to. This has nothing to do with me caring about her and everything to do with territory. I’ve marked mine. What’s done is done.

  “How will you kill me?” she asks, her raspy voice speaking straight to my cock. It hardens and aches to be inside her once more. She’s a siren. Singing a song to this sailor. I’ll follow that voice right into the rocks. It’s like I know she’s going to drown me and I set sail for her anyway.

  “Slowly,” I murmur as I kiss the heart at her hip. My eyes flick up to her gray ones. Gray, the color of a stormy afternoon on the sea. “So slowly, honey.”

  She bites her plump bottom lip, fighting a smile. Twisted girl is nearly as fucked up as me. Knowing her death looms and she invites the details in anyway. A little masochist. The sadist in me roars like a mountain lion.

  Bite her. Mark her. Eat her.

  I run my tongue along her salty flesh to her pussy. Her back lifts off the bed and her thighs part for me. My siren invites me in.

  Crash. Crash. Crash. Her words are silent, but I hear them like a song on repeat.

  I lick her slit. Revel in her musk. I lick her again. Fuck, those mewls will be the death of me. A torture in their own right. The never-ending burn that begs me to ruin her wages a war inside me, but my body ignores my intentions and gives in to animal instinct. My mouth waters for her taste. Her scent is mixed with mine and I go crazy with pleasure at this realization.

  Mine.

  Fucking mine.

  I nip at one of her pussy lips and she cries out. My tongue circles around her nub of a clit, desperate for her to moan for me. I love the way she shudders and begs. Thrashes and whines.

  She wants the monster.

  Fucking demands it.

  I work her clit into a frenzy of pleasure. She explodes with a scream. I can’t take anymore. I need her like I need air. The urge to own her body—in a way that is purely manly instinct—overwhelms me.

  “You want to be destroyed,” I growl.

  “Yes,” she agrees, feeding my beast what he wants to hear.

  I grip my throbbing cock and push into her soaked cunt. So tight. So mine. Slowly, a torture for fucking both of us, I ease into her. Our eyes lock. Hers are needy and pleading. They flash with hope. She regards me like I’m hers.

  It has me stalling for a moment, but then her fingers slide up my shoulders and she pulls me to her. Our mouths meet and she tastes so fucking good, her cunt juices mixing in our kiss. She moans in pleasure, her fingernails breaking into my skin as she scores and marks me. Fuck, those fingernails will always remain.

  I lose control.

  Madness creeps in and I buck like a stallion.

  My sweet honey-scented siren clings to me. Urges me on. Begs for the ride. Begs for it all.

  I’ll kill you, I think to myself.

  Not true. Not true. Not true.

  I can’t kill her.

  I fucking can’t.

  The realization hits me like a ton of bricks. I’m frustrated and fucking relieved all at once. I want to keep her. Just like she begged. But for how long? In this moment, with me bucking wildly into her and her whimpering in pleasure, I want her. I’m not so fucking lonely. She’s mine.

  But once I’m outside of her?

  When the demons come roaring back with a vengeance?

  What about when she reminds me of Anta?

  My eyes pop open and her gray ones burn into mine. Begging and pleading. Fuck, I want to give her that. I want to give me that.

  “Honey,” I growl as I grab each of her wrists and pin them to the bed. The wildness inside of me is growing out of control. “You can’t ever leave. I’m keeping you.”

  Her brilliant smile is my undoing. I drag one of her hands between us. Gripping her fingers, I use her to force pleasure on herself. I’ll be coming soon and I want my cock sticky with her orgasm first. She squirms and fusses, but then her body is jolting. Those gray eyes disappear behind fluttering lids. Her tight cunt contracts and throbs around my dick. With a feral groan, I release inside her. My thrusting is uneven and I feel crazed. Completely undone by her. I don’t stop pumping inside her until I’m entirely drained. Once I’m depleted of everything, I push her wrist back onto the bed and kiss her swollen lips.

  “You make me feel crazier than I already am,” I complain against her mouth.

  She smiles. I feel it on my skin and in my soul. “This crazy, out of control feeling is contagious. I’ve been drifting in a dark fog. And now…” She sighs. “Now, I’m sucked into this vortex. It’s violent and raging. But it feels right.”

  “I’m so wrong, honey. So fucking wrong.”

  “Wrong feels right to me. I’m okay with that.”

  I nip at her bottom lip and her cunt squeezes my softening cock back to life. My body settles on hers and I love the feeling of trapping her beneath me so she can never get away. Her hands tug from my grip and she scrapes her nails through my hair, scratching my scalp. I groan in pleasure. Nails stay. For fucking ever.

  “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,” I admit somewhere in her hair where my face is buried. I inhale her soothing scent.

  “Neither do I.”

  “Without my revenge, I don’t know who I am.”

  “You’re Cole and I’m Natalie. We’re messed up.” She giggles and it’s oh-so-fucking-sweet.

  My lips seek out her neck and I suck her flesh into my mouth, hair and all. She whines as I bruise her skin with my desperate need to mark her. I kiss my way to another spot and repeat the action. Over and over until I’m hard again. We fuck once more. My body lays down the law. It overrules my brain and sides with my heart. Together they explain the new rules. We’re doing this. With her. She’s ours. The world can go to hell.

  I’ve just come in her again when a banging on my door has the animal instinct to protect raging its ugly head inside me.

  “Stay here,” I growl as I jerk away from her naked and still quivering body.

  Her wild eyes are filled with fear. Terror that the fuckface is coming for her. I’d gut that asshole before letting her go off with him. She’s not going anywhere.

  I yank on some sweats from the floor and grab my knife from the bedside table. Stalking through the house, I make my way to the door. Another banging resounds from the other side. I open the door and rear back my hand with the knife, ready to stab the motherfucker right in the throat for hurting her.

  Emily Grouper gapes at me in shock. Her blond ponytail bounces as she stumbles back a step or two.

  “Cole!” she cries out. “It’s me. Calm down. You act like the boogeyman was coming for you!”

  As soon as my mind catches up with reality, I calm down. Then, irritation bleeds inside me. I drop my arm at my side and glower at her.

  “What are you doing here at the crack of fucking dawn? A curtesy call would have been nice,” I snap.

  She purses her lips together and shakes her head. “I knew somet
hing was going on with you when we talked. Let me make you some breakfast and we can talk. How have you been? The twins miss you. Sadie is working with me at the restaurant, but Lisa started at the community college. They’re growing up. You’d hardly believe how they’ve turned into such lovely young ladies. You could come around for dinner every once in a while.” Her babbling yanks me from my spinning out of control and grounds me. So many nights after I came back, I would sob in her lap. I’d beg for her to forgive me for not saving her husband. She’d just shush me and stroke my hair. Em is the big sister I never had. I let her down. If she knew what kind of animal I was, she’d be destroyed.

  “Now’s not a good time,” I grumble. Worry niggles at me. If she sees Natalie, I don’t know how I’ll explain her. What if Natalie tells her she’s here against her will? She really will know I stole her.

  “Don’t be silly,” she huffs as she starts inside.

  I block the doorway and shake my head.

  She scowls at me, the crow’s feet at the corners of her blue eyes crinkling. “You’re pissing me off,” she complains. “I’m tired of you blowing me off when all I want to do is check on you and…” Her eyes drift past me and her mouth parts. “You took her.” Heartbroken eyes fly to mine. Accusing and sad. Filling with tears.

  “Hi,” a sweet voice says from behind me. “I’m Natalie.” She wraps an arm around me and extends her slender arm toward my friend.

  At first, Emily stares at her like she might bite. Then, she shakes Natalie’s hand, her eyes throwing a million questions my way. Natalie lets go of her hand and steps back. I turn to regard her. Her hair is messy and wild. Those pouty lips are still red from my kisses. Purple bruises are forming on her throat from my marking her. She’s thrown on one of my T-shirts and it hangs down to her knees. At least she looks more like “just-fucked girlfriend” rather than “captive turned lover.”

  I motion Emily inside and I glance down the hallway to see that the room where I’ve kept Natalie in, the door has been closed. Natalie’s cheeks flood pink when I look at her. She’s protecting me. From my friend. The thought causes turmoil to twist inside me.

  “Sit down,” I order gruffly. “I’ll put on some coffee.”

  Emily sits in the recliner, her eyes trained on Natalie. They remain quiet as I mess around in the kitchen. I’m trying to work out an explanation as I pour coffee into three mugs when I hear Emily ask the inevitable.

  “Do you know they’re calling you a missing woman in the Seattle area? You’re Natalie Dusana.”

  I freeze, my gaze darting to Natalie. She shifts uncomfortably on the coach. Her eyes seek out mine, worry flashing in her gray orbs. I grab the handles of two mugs in one hand and the other one in my free hand. Stalking back into the living room, I hand Emily one and then set mine and Natalie’s on the coffee table.

  “She and I are seeing each other,” I offer as a response.

  Emily snorts as I sit down beside Natalie. “No shit, Sherlock.”

  Natalie shivers and I can sense the fear rippling from her. It makes me angry at Em for worrying her. It makes me furious at Alan. That he still has this power over her. She’s been taken by a killer and the threat of him returning into her life has her trembling with terror.

  “Come here, honey,” I order.

  Natalie launches herself at me, seeking both my warmth and comfort. I drag the blanket off the back of the couch and wrap it around her. Emily’s sharp gaze watches our interaction, her blond brow arched in question.

  “How’s Vic?” I ask, disgust in my tone.

  Her nostrils flare. She married Blake Grouper’s brother Vic just two years after her husband, Dave Mack, was killed by that queen cunt. I should have skinned that fucker alive the moment he started sniffing around Em. He’s an okay guy, I guess, and the twins love him, but she moved on too soon. Not a day goes by where I don’t remember her husband struggling for air in those last few moments. I can’t get him out of my head. How she was able to push him out and move on has always been a sore spot between us.

  “Vic is fine. The restaurant is thriving. We’re opening another one soon. With Sadie helping us, it’s freed up some of our time and expanding is a real hope now.” Her eyes leave mine to regard Natalie again. “I’m sorry, but can we not change the subject? I want to know why you have a missing girl in your living room. You, Cole, the guy who doesn’t date. The loner from hell. You tell me everything, but you fail to mention you’re very much in love with a girl who’s missing in Seattle.”

  Very much in love?

  “We’re not in love,” I snap, my tone defensive.

  Natalie tenses at my harsh words and I find myself stroking my fingers through her hair to calm her. Love isn’t something I’m capable of.

  “Okay, wow. So does Savvy know you’re…dating?”

  Natalie jerks her head up to look at me, hurt flashing in her eyes. “Who’s Savvy?”

  I grit my teeth. “My shrink.”

  The shrink I used to fuck.

  Used to.

  I give Natalie a small squeeze and grumble at Em. “It’s none of Savvy’s business who I see. Just like it’s none of your business.”

  Em sips her coffee and then shakes her head. “But perhaps it is her cousin’s business. He’s made plenty of heartfelt pleas on television to bring his cousin back. He’s convinced someone took her and he wants her to come home.” She narrows her eyes at me, always seeing through my wickedness. “If she’s here on her free will, which she clearly appears to be, then I think it would behoove you to have her contact him to let her know she’s okay. They can call off the search.”

  “He’s an asshole and it’s none of his business where she is,” I snap, rage blooming inside of me like a flower seeking the sun.

  “He’s an influential attorney,” Emily bites back. “If there’s any inclination that you’re involved in something shady, he could make a mess of your life.” She smiles a fake smile at Natalie. “No offense.”

  “Please don’t tell him,” Natalie whispers.

  For a moment, Emily’s hard glare breaks and she appears worried.

  “He’s a dick and she’s better off with me,” I bark out.

  I can tell the second Emily gives up because she relaxes in the recliner. “Fine. But don’t be surprised if I come check on you more lately. I’m worried about you. This all feels…so unlike you.”

  Because the normal me murders them slowly and brutally.

  The normal me doesn’t keep them.

  Crazy, confused Cole?

  He keeps her.

  He protects her.

  AS SOON AS THE DOOR closes behind Emily, the tension bleeds from my body. All day she stuck around. Probing and curious. I didn’t like it. I liked her because she was the first female I’d properly spoken to in years, but I didn’t like the way she’d watch me as if she could peel away my layers and see inside. At first, she was harsher seeming, but then throughout the day, she smiled more and joked with Cole. I’d been fascinated to see him behave so…normally. He laughed and cut up with her like they were siblings. They spoke of her first husband some and they danced around “the incident,” but that was all I was given.

  Breakfast was stiff. Lunch was smoother. And dinner was almost comfortable. She and I cooked my mother’s spaghetti recipe and Cole happily ate my food. It was almost perfect.

  Almost.

  The fear of her telling Alan had me trembling so bad at times I dropped my fork more than once on my plate with a loud clatter.

  As if sensing my terror, Cole turns his intense brown eyes on me. He prowls forward and for an instant, I worry he’ll devour me. The predatory way he stalks me has me afraid. But then his large palms grip my hips and he pulls me to him. His hard body molds against my soft one. He angles his head down and presses his lips to mine. I love the possessive, protective way he kisses me. His hand slides to my ass over his sweats I changed into and he grips me.

  “You’re mine,” he growls. “Not his.”
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  I let out a soft sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

  He frowns as if my words still trouble him. “Why did you stay with him?” His eyes darken. “For money?”

  “When I turn twenty-one, I’m given access to my inheritance. He wants that. That’s why he’s kept me as his all these years,” I murmur.

  “So you stayed and endured all that for money.” His nostrils flare as if he’s disgusted with me.

  “I thought if I could gain access to the money, then I could disappear. He’d never be able to find me. A few years as his prisoner was the price I was willing to pay for my ultimate freedom.” Saying the words that have been intertwined in my heart all this time hurts. “I just want an escape.”

  He growls. The feral, animalistic glint in his eyes has me warming. “You didn’t escape. You’re in my hell now.”

  “Hell’s not so bad,” I whisper.

  He smirks and it makes my core throb. “You’ll get your money. But he won’t get you.”

  “Without him, I don’t need the money.”

  Our eyes lock for a long moment. Then, his hands slide into my hair so he can kiss me deeply. I grip the front of his T-shirt and cling to him.

  Save me.

  Keep me.

  Love me.

  God, I’m losing it.

  Completely unraveling.

  I blame Alan. He created this new woman by destroying the old one. This one needs a protector. This one finds freedom with a monster. It’s fucked up, but I accept this fate. No, I crave it.

  “We’re going to shower and then I want to show you something.” His brown eyes glimmer with excitement. “I think you’re going to like it.”

  I sit in the middle of the couch, nervously chewing on my bottom lip as I wait. He’s disappeared into his bedroom. My mind is a mess as I wonder just how far I’ve fallen off the deep end. So far off the deep end. I dove, head first, and am waiting to hit rock bottom. It’s coming, it’s always coming.

  A door slams and I jolt. My eyes dart to the front door. I’m unbound and alone. I could slip out and leave. A shudder runs down my spine.

  He’d find me.